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* * * * * 3 votes

INTERVIEW with Krauersaut

Posted by docwarren, 27 September 2012 · 2,103 views

spoof joking
It’s time to turn the tables!!!!! Yes….. the interviewer has become the interviewEE. He has taken time out of his busy schedule to interrogate several of us. Now it is his turn. Our very own Leader Krauersaut has graciously granted me a few minutes (actually less than a minute) to give YOU….. his loyal subjects…… a piece of him.

So are you ready for your interview?

I’m not going to do an interview. If you want one you are going to have to make it up all by yourself. And no asking Gubbi for any of the answers.

Could you quickly introduce yourself?

I am not giving you an interview.

So you are saying that you are unwilling to participate in something that you, yourself started?

Not unwilling. Just unable to.

Why are you unable to? Are you like in a witness protection program or something?


I see. So you are in a witness protection program. Isn’t it dangerous to be talking to people on x-fire all the time then? I mean you never know who you might be talking to. For instance…. I have Mafia connections. And you may have a nice bounty on your head.

What do you know about me that I should worry?

I’m asking the [email protected] questions here!!!

And I’m not answering any questions.

Again with the refusal. Well….. I guess I’ll just have to go by what I know of you from the countless times you x-fire me in the middle of a game. BTW…. Do you do that to EVERYONE else?

Pretty much.

Ha! Sucker! Guess what? You just answered a question! How easy was that? I RULE!

<silence> in recognition of just being !owned.

Do you want to do this or not?

I didn’t want to do this in the first place.

So how did you become a part of this great clan of ours?

I played. I joined.

I see. And how did you get to be in the position you are now?

I sat down in this chair.

Is it a comfortable chair?

Comfortable enough to have sex in.

O.o……. moving on……

It is noted by many that you have a tendency to like to turn the tables on people to make them look foolish. Is that true?

I find most people are able to look foolish on their own.

So what is the key to being a member/admin here?

Be more like me.

But because you are not really participating in this interview and I am making stuff up because of your refusal, how are we supposed to know how to “be more like me”?

OK. Be more like you.

More like you? Is that a compliment on my abilities as an admin?

No, Shirley.

Did you just call me Shirley?

I said “surely” not “Shirley”.

Oh. My mistake. So hard to tell over this phone.

But we’re on x-fire and not the phone.

And I’m in the middle of a game.

I know that. You should not be playing. You should be doing admin stuff.

So an admin should not play at all and just police the servers?

You said that in the interview I did on you.

Oh now you are just making stuff up?

No you are. You are the one doing this interview without my direct input.

So now you are saying I’m just making stuff up as I go along here?

Well….. you are the one typing both the questions and the answers.

So now you are making the claim that I am crazy and having conversations with myself?

Well….. you are the only one here.

Fine. Let’s get on with this interview. What is the most important part of this clan in your opinion?


Fair enough. How did you come up with your screen name?

I hate sauer kraut.

What did it ever do to you?

Well….. I sharted once after eating it.

So you picked on a popular food item to get revenge?

It bullied me so I decided to bully back.

What kind of car do you drive?

We go from food to cars? Man you are crazy. I am not giving you what kind of car I drive. Since I am in the witness protection program, someone may want to blow me up.

If you were to be stranded on a deserted island with one clan member, who would that be and why?

Gubbi. He is the only one that really understands me.

A bit insecure are we? You are one of those older Goths with trust issues, aren’t you?

I AM from Austria.

If you could visit any point in history, where/when would you go and why?

I would go back and offer to give you a serious interview.

Oh no sir. You refused and told me to make one up and now you are stuck with this on the blogs until the end of time.

I did?

Yes. And I have the screenshot to prove it. Next question comes from a member who wishes to remain anonymous. Do you like pie?

Anonymous for THAT? OK….. yes I do.

What kind of job do you have?

Would you believe I’m a pole dancer?

Well based on my conversations with you, it is not out of the realm of possibility. Our next question is from another member who wishes to remain anonymous. Where you that transsexual pole dancer in the film “The Hangover II”?......... I KNEW IT!!!!!

I’m busted.

Imagine you were in charge of the whole clan for a month. What would you change or would you leave everything as it is?

I would strip YoYo of his Leader title.

You would? Why?

There’s only room in this town for one sheriff.

What would you do with a million dollars?

I would by me a computer that would actually make it possible for me to be seen on the servers once in a while.

If you were the first person to make contact with an Alien life form, what would you say/do?

I am the greatest authority on earth and I request you wait for my response on the forums to see just how foolish you really are.

If you could pick any celebrity for a husband or wife, who would it be?

I am an internet celebrity and there is no one that could top my status. Everyone I come in contact with automatically gets a bump in their status.

So adding you on my x-fire and friend list on the forums has in turn made me more popular?


What's your favorite cuddly toy?

I have a life sized picture of Gubbi that I sleep with.

What's one thing you'd like to do before dying?

Go to Antarctica to swim with the penguins.

But you would freeze to death in that cold water, wouldn’t you?

No….. I am a LEADER in F|A clan and that protects me from all types of things.

What was your favorite subject in school?

I have a degree in Awesomeness.

You think pretty highly of yourself. Is that a problem?

Not whenever you are as awesome as I am.

And 1 final question. Do you have any regrets?

Yes. Giving you permission to do this interview on your own.

And with that folks, I hope you have a better understanding of our Leader Krauersaut who was gracious enough to answer only the 1st question in this interview.

I hope those mentioned here have the understanding that it is all in fun and do not take any offense where they are mentioned.

Do you think this interview will have to be re-written with correct punctuation and spelling? I mean it was thoroughly entertaining and almost perfect, but not completely. :P
Nice, good job doc.
Finally, I finished reading them :P good job!

What's your favorite cuddly toy?

I have a life sized picture of Gubbi that I sleep with.

wtf? :o

What's your favorite cuddly toy?

I have a life sized picture of Gubbi that I sleep with.

I knew it!
Lies and slander!

he totally would have picked me for that deserted island ;)

Is it a comfortable chair?

Comfortable enough to have sex in.

Damn i want that chair :D
He always says im Russian Maffia perhaps that's the reason he don't answer questions ;D
Doc Valiant effort to get an interview with Kai, but ever since he started his new meds he hasnt been the same.
Always knew kai had a sexy thing going on with Gubbi... get off my man Kai!

"What's one thing you'd like to do before dying?

Go to Antarctica to swim with the penguins."

Marry me Kai? We can go together <3
Well, that 's a weird interview :o
This just made my day :)
the whole gubbi cuddly toy thing vision just ruined my day o0
Lol waste of modesty, thank you both for making me laugh a little even if there was no purpose.
I could only agree on the last question.

Krauersaut, Today, 01:42 PM
I could only agree on the last question.

And the 1st.

Now.... let me know when you are ready for the serious o.... You know what? We'll just leave it with this one.
Nice job doc
Nicely done!
Lol, great stuff :D
Nice one, lol. :D
rofl, good one :D
Everything in this blog is now fact
Thanks for the feedback all. I was reluctant to do this as I was afraid people would not find the humor in it and have bad feelings towards me. But with Kai's pressure he convinced me to do it. Thanks for being a good sport, buddy.
::::::D this was funny staff
always messaging people in the middle of a game...
An honest and deep insight into the sophistacted mind of Krauersaut. Great Job doc!
Nice job... LMFAO
this interview is full of win :D
funny that someone takes time to interview people, Nice beaver.

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