Long distance relationships

[Sisje]

Hello everybody,

Since we are a worldwide gaming clan with people all over the world, there is a chance that romances grow. Or you could be a travel addict and find love in another country. So I'm starting this topic to see if more people have experiences with long distance relationships. I would love to hear about other people their experiences, now in covid times but also before, from just a country next to yours to halfway across the world. I hope this helps people who are in the same situation or think about getting in the long distance relationship.

Personally I'm married with someone who lives over 6000km/3700miles away from me. It is challenging but we manage, obviously we think we are perfect for each other which makes things easier. Now with covid, things have been more challenging because of travel bans but since we got married in January 2020 I got the luck that I could still travel to him as it was deemed an essential flight, 2 weeks of quarantine upon arrival and another week of quarantine and a covid test when I got back 'home', mouth mask for 9+ hours and standing in line for an hour and half just to show 2 documents that had been checked before I even got on the plane. But just knowing you'll be able to spend time with your better half makes it all worth it. I can only imagine how awful it would be for couples who aren't married and can't see each other for an extended period of time.

I would never recommend long distance relationships to anyone, it's the hardest thing I've ever done mentally, insecurities, not being able to touch, kiss, cuddle, just be there for each other is so difficult, but when you just know this other person is special you suffer through it. It has taught me that nothing is just normal, while some people get upset by their better half and get tired of them, I can only be jealous of the people who can see their better half frequently, can wake up next to them every day and so on. 

Currently I'm in the draining process of getting a PR (permanent residency) for Canada - ofcourse one of the hardest countries to get into if you aren't a skilled worker. Lots and lots of paperwork and the PR doesn't include a work permit so next year I'm planning to move there to apply for a work permit - but won't be allowed to work while I wait for it to be approved (possibly 4 to 5 months) so I'm trying to save as much money as I can now.

The fact that one of you will have to leave your country and migrate, leave your family and friends is another thing to think about and talk about. My husband likes his guns and I've known since I was a lot younger I'd eventually move away from Belgium. I also like the culture and the more relaxed way of life of Canada so for me the choice is easy, now with internet, all the social media and chat apps plus the ability to travel doesn't make it seem like such a big deal and Canada for me is an amazing country so my family can only be happy to have a place to stay when they want to visit the country (ofcourse main reason would be to visit me I assume but if there is much to do it's nicer).

Enough with my rambling 😄
I hope more people are willing to share their story.

Edited November 11, 2020 by Sisje
fixed some typos

[Chuuu]

Can I try😂, oke let's do this. 

I’m still young, I’m not married but I’ve been in situations like these, that is, long-distance relationships. For the last 5 years I have been in constant move, integration, work, running there, running here. I was with a girl for almost 5 years, since elementary school there have been sparks that we couldnt go over them. The first 3 years were great, as he says I am constantly on the move and looking for and getting to work wherever it is. I was in Denmark for almost a year but with a break of one month. We heard each other on social networks almost every day, when I come home from work, the call arrives immediately. It mostly went through Messenger or Viber. As for any help, since let me say right away that she is a real sloth, she did not want to work after finishing school. We helped each other in any way. When I returned to Bosnia, we were together, I became good with her older brother, with her parents too. When I went to Croatia to work, it was a little harder, I didn't have time because there was too much work. Since then, she has started to communicate a little harder because she is a little, a little jealous. Upon my return in 2019 at the end of the year, small quarrels happened, weak relationships, there were always some small mistakes, because I am always somewhere and not with her. So I can say that it's a little harder for the newer generations to understand that, despite all the possibilities, they are not doing well. Back in January when I went to Germany, everything fell into the water, in addition to everything, none of it remained between us ... After 4 and a half years, I found another who did not want to accept it at all, so ...😂😂

Wtf is wrong with you Chuu😂

Life must go on, keep your head up✌️

With love Chuu💕⚜️

[Nancy]

Before of my happy marriage and setteled in one country I've travel a lot. And in my trips Ive met a French girl (professor of philosophy actually). It was in Slovenia, in Ljubljana. Ljubljana - means Beloved One it is a true romantic Alp country - we was sleeping in the same hostel and I met her at the shared kitchen. First what she said was: "mobile phones only disrupt communication between people", and I immideatly put away my phone.. 

We went to hike together, to Smarna Gora (some local mountain) and went to restourant of the people with Dawn syndrome (actually it was very romantic!). She has to return to Lyon - but we spend three days walking together.

 

I have to return to Bosnia to spend a winter there (I was living on 300€ monthly in that time), and she must return to her job too.. We exchange emails and I wrote her like 70 emails, it was pretty Literature Romance indeed I was involved it.

After few months she invite me to France, and I was there like 2 or 3 times. We was living in Lyon and Oversuruase (home town of Van Gogh). After few months living together we traveled to Thailand to my home in Chiang Mai... We was together again, but I had to return to Croatia to university... 

Its hard to keep relationships in a long distance - and I cant keep up with it. She wanted me to move to Lyon - but i cant comply: I love slavic countries... 

So our romance was over. 

I still write her some times: she has a cat and me too. 

 

Last year I ve met my wife (she is true Croatian) and we married at January.

I am so happy... but I am afraid lond distant relationship is very hard to sustain..

 

Or maybe the problem in me? 

[AstenZoolen]

I can tell guys that your stories are inspiring, for real.

good luck

Asten.

[Cracker]

Really nice to read your stories Sis, chuu, Nancy! As far as concering myself, not been really in a long distrance relationship before. On the other hand, i'm having this amazing group of friends which i went on summer holidays for like  8 years in a row. As you can imagine, thinks happen on those holidays. A few times i've had this great click, but then again things like this just vanish as you separated for a while and not been together too long on the holiday. I think it can work, but also communication is a big part of it, and ofourse being able to fully go for it.

 

I'm curious about more stories!😄

[notellenPage]

Cytat

I hope more people are willing to share their story.

 

Long distance relationships doesn't exist. They all fall apart one day or another.

[Sisje]

2 minutes ago, notellenPage said:

 

Long distance relationships doesn't exist. They all fall apart one day or another.

Well they do exist, that they last is a whole other story.. And I agree that most fall apart one day or another but it doesn't mean people can't have experiences with it and want to share

It takes a special relationship to last, and ideally not a very long period of time you are apart, I'm really happy I have a bit of a timeline where I know I'll be with him, during the first 2 years it was a 2 week visit every 6 months - work and money. How well can you get to know someone over the internet eh? Real life is so different, little things you'll only notice when you start living together. For me it will be a struggle but one I'd love to discover and work on together with my better half, noone is perfect after all. Longest I've spend with him was 9 weeks over the summer and I'm happy to say we don't fight and the fights we have over the internet usually go about how little we can see each other or other stupid little things that won't occur when we are together so it will be completely irrelevant once I'm able to move. Then again it can be completely different when we both work and live together there as obviously when I'm there now, I'm free to do whatever I want.

[notellenPage]

You said in your original post you hope people will share their stories, I shared mine and that's all. My experience says they don't and I wanted to share it. I won't get into specifics coz it was like all the other stories we all heard and the only thing it's gonna be bring are memories and feelings I killed inside myself 😄

[Dest!Ny]

Happily together with a girl for a little over a year now who lives 900km (or 2200km if she is at her family) away. Best thing that ever happened to me not gonna lie. We met in a hostel after a friend and fellow travel fanatic of mine convinced me to go for a late holiday to Ireland in October last year. It is unbelievable how fast things can go. We spend less than a week together at first but kept in contact... a LOT. We have both been to each other multiple times although corona has made it increasingly difficult.

 

In many ways we found ourselves in the other person and yet in just as many ways we are polar opposites. But our differences make us whole and more often than not they lead to an even better middle ground We plan to close the gap in 2021 so I am looking forward to that tremendously, to finally put an end to all the travelling.

[Vice86]

Like everything in life, we humanbeeings need our ups and downs. 

if we always have our uptime, its hard to keep focused on each other , since we all take our Environment for granted. but it isnt.

So the ups and downs of a distance Relationsship will make you feel even more in love, since the chemics in your brain will give you a superhigh everytime you can finally see your better half.

I miss those ups and downs the most. the saying goodbye at the trainstations, knowing you wont see each other for a whole week and such. the planning of vacations together and the pre happyness of it.

 

Long story short.

i still love my wife, even if i am seeing her everyday and i am happy that i decided to move to her area. ✌️

 

just dont give up and everything will be fine.

 

Edited November 11, 2020 by Vice86

[Basalisk]

I was travelling the world and was in Australia 20 years ago, i met a girl from Japan in Adelaide, we just hit it off, we just clicked; we stayed at the same guesthouse for 2 months. I stayed in contact with her for many years; she visited England, i visited Japan. We then travelled again 6 years later and met in Borneo.

3 years later in 2009 we got married and have a daughter together now 9 years old and right now things couldn't be better, even during this strange time.

 

It doesn't matter how far apart you are, if you really want to be together and are prepared to fight to make it happen, it's definitely possible to make it work. Yes it cost a lot of money obtaining the visas, passing English spoken test (now abolished) etc; but wort every penny 😄

[Bells]

I’m a bit curious how you managed to keep in touch @Basalisk Back then there was no facebook, whatsapp or whatsoever, so I guess you could only make skypecalls and  write traditional letters (and it also takes time to receive one from Japan)... I hope I’m not being nosy, just this story is extremely heart-warming, especially considering you described it from 20-year old perspective.

[MosesIsComingLookBusy]

Ah, we have reached a time where emails have been forgotten 😃

Edited November 13, 2020 by MosesIsComingLookBusy

[Bells]

7 godzin temu, MosesIsComingLookBusy napisał:

Ah, we have reached a time where emails have been forgotten 😃

Hah, I just liked the idea of written letters way more😅

[Basalisk]

16 hours ago, Bells said:

I’m a bit curious how you managed to keep in touch @Basalisk Back then there was no facebook, whatsapp or whatsoever, so I guess you could only make skypecalls and  write traditional letters (and it also takes time to receive one from Japan)... I hope I’m not being nosy, just this story is extremely heart-warming, especially considering you described it from 20-year old perspective.

Lol back then in the olden days we used hotmail 😄