Nikolai Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 (edited) Hello! It's been a while. First, I'd like to apologize for the silence. I should have made a post, especially because I applied FA and got accepted as a trial member. Frankly, it just didn't even come to my mind. I just had to take my own time and step out of the internet. Let's just say my summer didn't go as intended. The minor reason was we got fibre connection dug on our land, but some strikes in the industry postponed the actual connection. I was not able to play properly with the 4g connection being what it is in the countryside sometimes. We finally got the fibre last month though, and I'm finally able to play again without issues. The main reason though is my family. My step-dad got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in early summer, and it totally stopped my life. The diagnose was worst possible, it couldn't be operated and it had already spread. I barely remember anything that happened during the summer, besides my job. While working in August, my father was hospitalized because of complications the cancer had made. We were ready to say goodbyes to him, but he got better and was able to stay home with my mother for almost couple of months. Eventually the cancer spread to his brain and he got a huge epilepsy seizure that lasted overnight. He wasn't unable to recover after it. Fortunately I was able to see him once more to say final goodbyes, although he couldn't respond back anymore. My father passed away 2 weeks ago just moments after I left the hospital. Life sucks sometimes, but we all have to leave this place eventually. I am happy and fortunate that I had my step-father there for me when I was a child that had just lost his real father. He was there for me during my youth and adulthood as well, beautiful memories. I'd like to thank @Ins4neand @yakuand few others for asking how I was doing, and setting me as inactive member. I will slowly get back, but I'd like to keep my inactive status for now. We can always go back to the trial, when I have the time and strength again. 💔Nikolai Edited November 2, 2022 by Nikolai grammar 1 21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yaku Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 I'm really sorry about your lose, these wounds for sure need time to heal. If you need to talk you know where to find me. It' nice to have you back, even if only partially! ❤️ 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lusciousdrunk Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 🙁 So sorry to hear that man! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GHARIB Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 SOrry to hear this. Be strong mate, I had almost the same with my father, and I know what you feel. My PM always open. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vasylich Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 I hope he now finds the peace that he lacked so much during his illness. Eternal memory! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollonius Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 I'm so sorry... my sincere condolences. May your father rest in peace. Take all the time you need. My father passed away very suddenly a year ago, from COVID-like illness. One week he's there, the next week it's just an empty room. It was a nightmare during nation-wide lockdown and the morbid situation surrounding the pandemic. That chapter's been like a scar of my life, and what I regret the most, for many reasons. I'm happy for the wonderful memories you had together, and how you both were there for each other. 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb* Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 Hey there, I´m sorry to read this. I know perfectly how you feel. 11 years ago, i lost my dad from a cancer too, he was 51...i didn´t have time to say goodbye. They will always be by our side mate...they left us big memories. Easier to say than to do is to smile thinking about him, but all you got to remember is the old good memories with him. Pain doesn´t disappear, but with time we just learn to live with it. Be strong Friendly, BaRbWiRe* 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Member Vindstot Posted November 2, 2022 Senior Member Share Posted November 2, 2022 Im so sorry to hear that this happend to me. It must have been really hard on your and on your family I wish your recover emotionally as much as possible quickly And take care! Real life comes first, and when you feel like (fully) come back, we will be here! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LookItIsMe Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 (edited) Hey Nikolai! Just want to say again that I'm really sorry for your loss. Please take all the time you need. No rush. I'm sure we'll be here waiting for you. I hope the beautiful memories of your dad bring you some comfort during this difficult time. My thoughts are with you. Edited November 2, 2022 by LookItIsMe 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt Steiner Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 I'm very sorry for your loss, Nikolai. With all its beauty the world still can be terribly cruel sometimes. Take good care of yourself and your family, ET can wait. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnG3L Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 (edited) Be strong 😕 Irl first. Edited November 2, 2022 by AnG3L 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mehmet Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 I'm sorry for your loss, there will be an end to everything in the world! Sometimes we realize the value of what we have after we lose it... Bring good memories to your mind and be happy with them! I'm here if you want to talk. Be strong ! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigress Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 I am very sorry for your loss.. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunSet Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 Thats sad, sorry for your loss. Stay strong man. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveirapt Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 4 hours ago, Nikolai said: Hello! It's been a while. First, I'd like to apologize for the silence. I should have made a post, especially because I applied FA and got accepted as a trial member. Frankly, it just didn't even come to my mind. I just had to take my own time and step out of the internet. Let's just say my summer didn't go as intended. The minor reason was we got fibre connection dug on our land, but some strikes in the industry postponed the actual connection. I was not able to play properly with the 4g connection being what it is in the countryside sometimes. We finally got the fibre last month though, and I'm finally able to play again without issues. The main reason though is my family. My step-dad got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in early summer, and it totally stopped my life. The diagnose was worst possible, it couldn't be operated and it had already spread. I barely remember anything that happened during the summer, besides my job. While working in August, my father was hospitalized because of complications the cancer had made. We were ready to say goodbyes to him, but he got better and was able to stay home with my mother for almost couple of months. Eventually the cancer spread to his brain and he got a huge epilepsy seizure that lasted overnight. He wasn't unable to recover after it. Fortunately I was able to see him once more to say final goodbyes, although he couldn't respond back anymore. My father passed away 2 weeks ago just moments after I left the hospital. Life sucks sometimes, but we all have to leave this place eventually. I am happy and fortunate that I had my step-father there for me when I was a child that had just lost his real father. He was there for me during my youth and adulthood as well, beautiful memories. I'd like to thank @Ins4neand @yakuand few others for asking how I was doing, and setting me as inactive member. I will slowly get back, but I'd like to keep my inactive status for now. We can always go back to the trial, when I have the time and strength again. 💔Nikolai i know what your going truth i just lost my mother about a month i feel so empty inside didnt get the chance to say goodbye among other things(we were close) if you need im here to talk 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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