the saddest day of my life so far

[vehx]

today , april 19 , 2017  , is the saddest day of my life so far ..... i am writing this not to bum people out , but to share with the world my love and admiration for my father ,,,, on april 8 , my father had his 5th and final heart attack . after his first attack a few years ago , i decided to move back home so i could be closer to my family and to be there just in case i was needed ,,,, and on the 8th of april that need came to be .... my mother awoke  at around 1 am ( so i guess technically april 9th ) , and she noticed that my father wasnt breathing right ( no snoring lol)  and she immediatly called out for me  , i rushed upstairs and saw my father and i knew something wasnt right ... his lips were blue and i had that aweful feeling ,,,, even though my father was a doctor , i had never actually taken a CPR course ,,, yet still i dove in and according to my mother , i performed CPR for 30+minutes , unreleived , until paramedics finally arrived .... after 6 defib( shock paddles ) they were able to get enough of a heartbeat to move him to the ambulance and get him to the hospital  ,  he never regained conscienceness , but i am fairly certain that he was aware of our pressence at the hospital  , after a 10 day battle his heart had finally reached its limit , ,,,, i know that he was fighting as hard as he could to stay with us , and i am thankful that i got the chance to tell him how much i love him , and how proud i am to be his son ,,,, the shock of it all will hit me later , for now i must be strong for my mother and the rest of my family ,,, my father was not only my hero  , but was a savior to litterally thousands of people over the years ,,, as a doctor he never turned away anyone that was sick or hurt  , regardless of insurance or ability to pay , he truely cared about helping people for the sake of whats right .... he worked many miracles and saved many people over the years because he was , as he would put it "one of the last country doctors left"  ... and he truely was ...he had a profound knowlege of medicine and was always studying and searching for new ideas and answers from every source you can imagine ,, and he never gave up on anyone ... so for the last 10 days we didnt give up on him ... but today his tired old body just couldnt  fight anymore , i know he is at peace and he is at rest , a rest he most definatly earned , even though i know he wanted to stay and heal more people , because that was the way my Dad was ,,, a healer  .... i have lost many , many people in my life ,, some family , some friends , some just people i barely knew ,,, but this is by far the most painful and shocking of them all ... so far ... its now 3 34 am and i cant sleep , i dont  really know what i am feeling at the moment , all i know is there is a great emptyness in this house and a great sadness all around me ,, and this post is all i have right now to express this sorrow and release some of this .... well thats just it ... i lack the vocabulary to describe this aweful feeling ,, so for those of you kind enough to read this post , i apollogize and i thank you ,,,, thankfully i will pass out from fatigue and sleep depro fairly soon ,,, again thank you to all who read this far ,,, you honor my father by doing so , ,, i know all of us have lost loved ones so i know that others can empathize with what i am feeling ,,,, again ..... thankyou to my =F|A=mily for being here ,,, i know its pixels on a screen , but through =F|A=  i have met many carring and wonderful people , ,,,,,,,,,i am trying my best not to ramble , but rambling is actuallly helping me to cope at the moment ....  i will leave you all with a cliche piece of advice .... tell the ones you love that you love them ....tell them the next time you see them ,,,, and tell them again and again after that ,,,,, you never know if you will get another chance , so dont waste the chances you have ...... yeah , yeah ,, i know ,,,, the most cliche advice ever ,,,, but that doesnt make it any less valid ..... =p   ....  i wish everyone good health , happiness , and love ,  ,,,,,  =)   <3  forever !!!

 

sincerely ,

 

David ,

 

a.k.a. =F|A= vehx .

 

[DFighter]

my condolences stay strong and take care !

[United Blood]

I am sorry for your loss. We are thinking of you at this difficult time.

 

Take care mate.

[Sisje]

Sorry for your loss Vehx!

[Tobi]

My condolence,stay strong mate.

[Sick jacken]

Sorry for your loss, the best thing u can do is to remember him forever, people die only when we forget them. Stay strong and share your pain with us

[bo0m]

He is in a better place now. 5 heart attacks, he must been a great fighter. I know the feeling when you look on someone and want to help, but you can't and you feel helpless, angry and sad in the same time. But from your story I can tell that he lived his life and actually gave his life to others. And his spirit will forever be there in the lives of people that he saved. May he rest in peace now, as he gave his best for this world and all the people he met in his life. You can be really proud. Stay strong & take care.

[Helsen]

I am sorry to read Vehx. In your writing it shows your fathers life had lots of meaning, for many. That is something very special. Your writing is also very beautiful  in the way that you really bring over pain, stress, loss and actually also hope. Don't stay strong, stay how you choose to be atm. Mourn and celebrate life.

[Elf]

That is tough, hang in there, we are all family here in F/a! Payers to your family too.

[Eazy]

Sorry for you lost and my deepest condolence brother!! Stay stong, the whole =F|A= family is with you in this ruff time . Your dad was a great man and had a great life , may he rest in peace

[iCiCeLzz]

Sorry to hear vehx if you need someone to talk to feel free to shoot a message I am here for you buddy I lost my grandfather around 2 months ago so the wound is still fresh for me as well.

[kouklos]

Sorry for your loss, the best thing u can do is to remember him forever,PEOPLE die only when we forget them. Stay strong man

[vehx]

words can not describe my gratitude to all of you ,,, thank you so much for all of the kind words , they really do lessen the sorrow for me ,  today of course , will be one of the roughest days to get through , since there are decissions and arrangements to be made ,,,,, my mother , bless her heart , is staying strong , but i know she is hurting inside far more than me , ,,, i am doing my best to comfort her ,  i know we will get through this ,,,,  again  i want to say ....... THANK YOU  to all of the =F|A= community ,, the kindness and compassion that you have expressed brought tears to my eyes and gratitude to my heart .....

 

 

Thank You All

[Stavros]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Stay stong mate

[LazyHippo]

Im very sorry vehx, of what you tell he was a great man, stay strong on this difficult moments, no one is prepared for this kind of loss that shows us is part of life, my deepest condolences to you and your family.