Baska Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Why it sucks being a ****! 10. You've got a hole in your head. 9. Your master strangles you all the time. 8. Your head is disproportionate to the rest of your body. 7. You shrink in cold water. 6. You never get a haircut. 5. You always hang around with 2 nuts. 4. Your closest neighbor is an a**h****. 3. Your best friend is a pussy. 2. Your scalp gets cut off if you're Jewish. And the number one reason why it sucks to be a ****: 1. Every time you get excited, you throw up. Quote
Maximo Decimo Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 3. Your best friend is a pussy. Some "guys" prefer have another **** as a best friend Quote
Baska Posted September 21, 2011 Author Posted September 21, 2011 There was this lady and she really wanted to have sex, but she was to scared to ask her husband so she went to a jipsy and told her her problem. The jipsy rummaged around in a chest and pulled out a pickle jar with a penis in it, and said "All you have to do is open the jar and say 'Pickle penis my vigina' and it will start having sex with you". So later she tries out the pickle penis and it works great. That is until her husband walks in and he shouts "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" and the woman says "It's a pickled penis" Unfortunately her husband replied "PICKLE PENIS MY ASS" **** One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "b***" and the women called the man a "bastard". Their son walked in and said "What does b*** and bastard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and gentlemen". The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said "feel my titties" and the man said "feel my ****". Their son walked in and asked "What does titties and **** mean?" and the parents replied "hats and coats". On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "Shit" he said, the kid came in and asked "What's that mean" and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using. Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself, "f***" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's that mean" the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey. Then the door bell rang. The kid answered the door to his relatives and said "Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen f***ing the turkey! Quote
Spitfire Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 3. Your best friend is a pussy. Some "guys" prefer have another **** as a best friend Some "guys" prefer to visit other dicks neighbours is what you mean? Quote
ManOwaR Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Is a same if you are not a **** , in a lot of cases ) Quote
ajnl Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 There was this lady and she really wanted to have sex, but she was to scared to ask her husband so she went to a jipsy and told her her problem. The jipsy rummaged around in a chest and pulled out a pickle jar with a penis in it, and said "All you have to do is open the jar and say 'Pickle penis my vigina' and it will start having sex with you". So later she tries out the pickle penis and it works great. That is until her husband walks in and he shouts "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" and the woman says "It's a pickled penis" Unfortunately her husband replied "PICKLE PENIS MY ASS" **** One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "b***" and the women called the man a "bastard". Their son walked in and said "What does b*** and bastard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and gentlemen". The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said "feel my titties" and the man said "feel my ****". Their son walked in and asked "What does titties and **** mean?" and the parents replied "hats and coats". On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "Shit" he said, the kid came in and asked "What's that mean" and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using. Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself, "f***" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's that mean" the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey. Then the door bell rang. The kid answered the door to his relatives and said "Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen f***ing the turkey! Lmao, soooooo funny! Quote
docwarren Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 I'm quite content. .... and my wife & girlfriend are, too. Quote
Achiyan Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 actually, no.1 is faaaaaar from true.......every morning for instance.......or in middle/high school at the absolute wrong times......or in very interesting conversations......etc. etc. besides, if throwing up felt that good, i'd gag myself all the time btw, nice jokes too Quote
Panini*Hobbit@mp3 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Nice jokes Baska A ****'s best friend could also be Jill btw 200th post Quote
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