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The Smoke

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The Smoke

Member Since 25 Nov 2012
OFFLINE Last Active Sep 08 2017 10:41 AM
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#774963 Great American Eclipse 2017

Posted by The Smoke on 21 August 2017 - 09:37 AM

I live at ground zero and it was AMAZING !!!

 

First it starts getting cool and then the wind picks up and the breeze is cold.  Then all the birds head to roost.  Then it starts getting a weird shadowy look to everything.

I watched our sunflowers bow their heads then start to raise again afterwards.  There was lots of fireworks and people howling at the moon.  Lots of airplanes up today.

Several large jets were doing scientific study and were going right at the Sun.  Then, just as the Sun is being blocked out, it is deathly quiet.  No animals making noise of

any kind, and the people and the cars were all stopped.  Then the String of Pearls appears and the Sunlight starts to come back, but, it is not the yellow light we see everyday.

It is more like LED white and the shadows are very dark and long.  And now it is 30 minutes after the eclipse and all is coming back to normal.

 

But it was simply AMAZING !  I am glad I lived long enough to see it again.  I saw it in 1958, 1979 and now 2017.  I have seen a Lunar Eclipse also.

 

Old simple man must have been scared to death when this happened.




#774144 Doctor's Orders

Posted by The Smoke on 14 August 2017 - 03:05 PM

My doctor told me to eat more fruit.  So yesterday I ate 4 apples.

 

They were in a pie.  But hey....




#772498 Newest M16 for the millenials

Posted by The Smoke on 03 August 2017 - 08:52 AM

pew pew.jpg




#770435 The vacation of hell....

Posted by The Smoke on 17 July 2017 - 06:53 PM

So, on Monday the 10th, my wife and I set out to go to the coast for about 2 weeks.  This is the Pacific Coast near a coastal city called Newport in Oregon.

It is about 75 miles from our house.  The trip down was awful.  I almost... ran into the back of two different cars, run a bicyclist over, and I missed my turn and

had to go another 5 miles before I could find a spot in the traffic and a place big enough to turn my 32' motorhome around.

 

I get to the park and check in.  I drive up the usual access road to gain access to the upper tier area to park.  There were two pickup trucks blocking the exit.

I could see a narrow way through the trucks and had about a foot to go when I scraped the bumper on a guy's truck.  The damage to my RV was pretty bad,

but his truck's bumper had just a little scrape.  So I got out and got into it with this guy.  But he backed up and let me out.  He said he was trying to hook up,

so he and his wife could leave for home, but, the guy in the black truck wouldn't come out of his new trailer to move his truck.  The park people told him to

park his truck there because he had no more room in his space.  This blocked the exit of the access road.  I finally got out and got to our space and I had told

the guy I would be back to do the insurance thing.  By the time I barely got parked, he shows up.  He said the guy with the black truck left. So I couldn't get

a picture of his truck out in the middle of the road.  So then the park superintendent shows up and I tell him that that truck was not to be parked there.  He

said there wasn't any place else.  So I told him that he was going to be part of the lawsuit also.  He got scared and left.  So that started my vacation off with

a bang.  I was so angry I couldn't even think straight.  So I waited about an hour to set up the RV.

The next day my wife and I went to town for a little lunch, in her car.  We found this nice place but there wasn't much parking.  But I did see that the handicap

site was open.  So I turned my blinker on and drove down to the spot.  This other car was approaching us, and he sped up and practically skidded into the

site.  When I went by I noticed he didnt have a placard for the handicap spot.  So I called 911 and an officer said he would have someone there in 5 minutes. 

When the cop came, he parked behind the car, and checked the plates, and looked inside the windows for a handicap sticker.  Just then the car owner came out

of the cafe and we could see him talking to the cop.  The cop took his license and wrote him a ticket.  Then the cop motioned for him to back out of the space.

When he had moved his car across the street, the office motioned me down to the parking site.  I showed him my placard and he got in his cruiser and left.

The other guy decided he was going to give us some crap.  Now you have to understand that this guy is about 22 years old and 5'6" and 110 lbs.  He is behind

my car waiting for me to get out.  I am 6'2" and 250 lbs. and I love to fight.  So I slowly got out of her little car and I turned to face him and he knew it was over.

He walked behind the other car and went into the cafe.  I never said a word.  I just opened my wife's door and helped her out.  We had a nice lunch.

So the next day we are going to walk down to the beach with our new dog for the first time.  I am helping my wife down the badly worn out trail, when I stumble

over a tree root and twisted my bad foot and ankle again. After about 1/2 an hour of massage, I was able to get down to the beach.  That night it swelled up

so bad I never went to bed.  Just kept icing it.

So now we go to dinner the next night and everything was fine until we got the check.  We had two of the steak specials which were 12.95 each.  We both had

water and nothing else.  So the total should have been $25.90.  I give the waiter my card and he brings it back with the item bill.  I checked the bill and it was 

wait for it........$69.90.  I said, "Why is this check so much?"  He started a rant that was all about how we had steak and lobster.  I said no.  So a few minutes

go by and I said get the owner.  He fixed it.  I left no tip.  Food was great.

Next and last thing. 

I go down to the restroom for my morning poop and wah-lah! no one was in there.  Great.  A nice quiet poop is so good in the morning.

I sit down do my business, pull up my pants and hit the flush button and I could here this gurgling sound deep in the pipes.  I hit the door and ran back into

the shower area, when,  wait for it......boom!!!!!  All the crap from that morning flew out of that toilet all over everything.  That was about 10 am and they were

still cleaning that area at 4pm that afternoon.  They had to call in some professionals to get it clean enough for people to use.  It seems that at the exact

moment I flushed, the local sewage controller was going through a clean out process and the two lines got opened at the same time. When the pressure was

relieved off of the line at my toilet, all the waste chose that route to evacuate through.  Yee haw!!!

 

Now that I write all this down, it wasn't such a bad time after all.  Except for the traffic.  That really sucked and the accident wasn't good.  But hey...that's why I

pay those high insurance rates.  Right?

 

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#769348 Official FA Discord

Posted by The Smoke on 08 July 2017 - 10:52 AM

This is like standing in line at the DMV.




#767927 I quit smoking

Posted by The Smoke on 26 June 2017 - 09:50 AM

Here is how I quit.

 

Buy yourself some BlackJack gum or black licorice sticks.  Chew it up before you smoke.  Dont drink anything.

Then light up a smoke.  After you quit gagging and trying to throw up, you will notice the foulest taste in your mouth you ever had.

Keep doing that for about a week.  Then try to light up a smoke without the licorice.  You will notice your stomach rolls over before

you inhale.  That's the beginning.  Your brain will not accept that cigarette anymore as a good thing.  I have been done with cigs

since 1992, when I did this.  Even the smell of cig smoke produces a sickening in my stomach.

 

Best of luck buddy.




#766670 Things I have done and seen, in the old days

Posted by The Smoke on 16 June 2017 - 12:44 PM

Growing up in the 1950's thru 1970 I was able to see and do so many things that people of the 70's and on will never get the opportunity to take part in.

 

I remember seeing the first color movies.  It was so amazing to actually see that people in those old days didn't just wear black and grey.  Pictures of the old west and stuff lead us to believe

that they didn't have color clothes.  It is funny now, but a lot of us kids really believed that.

 

I remember playing games after school and on Saturdays.  Today, you guys never get your nose out of your phone long enough to do that.  Playing was the best.  We did all kinds of things.

We built carts out of junk wood and old wheels and then took them up to old man Johnson's hill and raced them down.  We were brave and didn't fear wrecking, until it happened.  And it happened

a lot.  We made forts out of old boxes and had make believe battles.  From  castle days to cowboys and Indians we would battle.  Our guns and spears were made from anything we could find.

But in our minds they were real.  Then we would turn the boxes another way and they became B17's and P51's and we were in the skies over Germany fighting WWII, or, we would be a

submarine or a tank.  Imagination was all it took, not money and a PC game.  This is still prevalent today.  When my grandkids were 4 or 5 years old, I got them a big cardboard box for Christmas.

To this day, 20 years later, they still remember playing, for days, in that box, until it finally folded up and died. My dad made us wooden toys that he would whittle out for us with his pocket knife.

 

We never had a TV until I was in 6th grade. We only watched it on Saturday morning for the cartoons.  When Mighty Mouse went off, it was out the door to play.  We would all play until about noon

then everyone went home and had a sandwich then back at it until 5pm for dinner.  Then we came back out and played the old games, like, Ollie Oxen Free, Tag, kick the can, etc. until dark.  Then

home and mom would wash us up and into bed we went.  Some day's we would ride our bicycles a lot or go swimming at the creek or go to school and play games there.  The main thing was that we

were outside playing most of the time.  There wasn't homework then, so once we got home it was our time to play.  I remember that my whole gang got new trucks, for no reason.  There was about

9 or ten of us and we all came out to my house and excavated this ditch.  Man we had roads going everywhere and we even built this huge bridge over it.  My brother could buy firecrackers and he

was our "powder man" and he would blow the sides of the ditch out and then we would come in a clean out the roads.  That was the greatest time.

 

I remember seeing the first jet planes come over the house.  I remember the first Harley-Davidson motorcycle stop at our house.  The guy drank from our water hose, then left.  He was so cool.

 

I remember our first private phone.  It hung on the wall in the kitchen, and we didn't have to ring in to the party line, to talk.  But we did have to dial the Operator to talk to another city.  It was only

4 or 5 digits then.  Like MO-4321 but in Bly it was just 3 numbers.  9 followed by a 2 or 1 then another number.  Like 921 was our house number.  Bly was 9, then the number of the phone you

needed to dial.

 

I remember looking up one night and seeing Sputnik cross across the darkened sky.  It looked like a tiny star.

 

I remember sitting at home one night and watching the guys walk on the moon for the first time. 1969

 

I remember driving my friend's dad's Corvette.  I remember drag racing all kinds of cars.  I was so fast at speed shifting that when the guys put money down on the race,  I did the driving.

I lost once.  I would get $5 for driving. Some nights I would do 10 or more races.  Learning how to use a line-lock was tough, but I got it quickly.  Some of the cars were just store bought muscle

cars with 400 or more HP.  Some of them were actual street rods with 800 or more HP.  It was really dangerous to drive some of them without practice.  The 34 T's with those massive blown motors

were a handful.  They were really squirrley. Most had 4 speeds and I learned to go in second and not first.  One of them, I actually took off in 3rd. Just to keep the wheels on the ground.  We would

hit speeds of 140 or more on that short 1/4 mile strip at Burlington-Northern's road outside of Klamath Falls. But it was so exciting. 

 

One summer I skied behind a drag boat at about 110 mph.  I didn't care for that.  The rooster tail would blind me and I would have to just hang on until I heard the motor shut off.  Then I would

drop the tow rope and hope I didn't run into the boat.

 

I remember the first hand held calculator.  They cost about $30 in 1980. 

 

I remember using a slide rule in college in Trigonometry class.

 

I remember dragging main street on Friday and Saturday nights.

 

I remember my very first date and kiss.  I remember going steady.  I remember getting swats from the principal in High School and grade school.

 

I remember we had to get dressed up to go to town on Saturday.  I had school clothes, play clothes, shopping clothes in town, and Sunday clothes for church. I had two pair of shoes: Keds for play,

and brown dress for everything else.  I remember having to shine my shoes all the time.  I remember my first pair of black shoes.  That was a big day.  Kids wore brown, and adults wore black.

 

I remember the first car that dad bought that had electric windows and a heater. (yep most cars didn't have a heater)

 

I remember the day that Mt. Saint Helens blew up. May 18th, 1980.  It was the most unbelievable sight I ever saw.




#766540 One of the stranger things I have seen in my years....

Posted by The Smoke on 15 June 2017 - 12:26 PM

1975.  Outside of Barstow, California.  Sitting on my hopped up Honda 175 Trials motorcycle at the starting line for the famous Barstow to Vegas cross country motorcycle race.

I look over to my left and there is a guy on a 400 CZ with a small puppy sitting on the gas tank.  The tank had carpet glued to it so the dog could hang on.  The dog had goggles and

a red bandana around his neck.  The next thing I see is the bike wheelies up and takes off with the dog hanging on.  They finished the race in Las Vegas in 20th position.  The

driver never wrecks and the dog never falls off.  The dog actually loves it. Here is what it looked like.  This picture was taken by a photographer at the race.  He was between me and

my friend at the starting line in 1975.  John McCowen and Cookie.

 

John's wife put the goggles and scarf on just after this picture was taken.

 

john and cookie.jpg




#766526 The world today and the F|A

Posted by The Smoke on 15 June 2017 - 11:05 AM

As most of you know our USA is having a lot of problems, as well as most of our countries in the world.  It seems that terrorism is rampant in all styles and everyone is being affected.

But I would like to write to the world through F|A and our members and guests, about us.  The gamers of the world. 

 

It's true that the games we play are violent but we are not violent people.  The game is a measure of talent, not violence.  None of us are truly injured or dead by what we play on our servers.

This was true in my early years of playing cowboys & Indians or playing with military toys.  It's not true and it is not teaching us to be violent to other people.  On the contrary, I have become

more world oriented since I joined F|A.  I used to think only of the USA and the rest of the world was just 3rd class people who didn't know much.  In the 4 years since I have been here with

the F|A clan, I have made friends from all over the Earth and I truly like and care for them.  When I first started playing, I was totally oblivious to the fact that some of the guys I was playing

with, were actually from other countries.  This was made clear to me the first night I turned on Teamspeak. The voices I heard for the first time had all kinds of voicing from all kinds of countries.

When I heard this voice with the India tone, I never thought it would turn out to be my friend "Killergun".  And then the Australians, British, Polish, Czechs, Danes, etc came on and I was

sent head over heels, to see the names associated with these voices.  Well, I have grown since then and I am a better man for it.  It has come to my attention recently that all these players, that I

play against everyday, are foreigners to me and my country.  But I am a foreigner to them as well.  We could be actually shooting real guns at each other, instead of in the game, but the game

changes all of our predetermined beliefs of our countries.  It let's us talk and joke instead of belittling and being sarcastic to each other.  I was thinking this morning that if only everyone had the

chance to play games over the internet against people from other countries, we could probably stop attacking each other and learn to like one another.

 

You see, every person on this Earth wants only three things out of life.  A job, a family and a home.  No one wants to fire weapons at other people.  Only the governments want to do that.  If

people, not governments, sat down at a big table and discussed things, it would take very little time to find out that we can all help each other get our three things out of life.  Those that have

more than they need, could send the extra to those who don't have enough.  Send not sell.  In just 10 years we could drive homelessness and hunger, sickness and death, from the Earth. 

 

So the next time you are playing COD4 with me, say "hello brother Smoke, it is a good day to see you".  Peace my friend and to your family.

 

Love you guys,

 

Ol' Smoke




#765538 BMW or Volvo ?

Posted by The Smoke on 07 June 2017 - 01:31 PM

Here is how I decide.  Go to a blue book used car value website.  Look up the same car (or very similar) from 2012 for each vehicle.  Figure out the cash value price for each car.

Let's say the 2012 Volvo was $50,000 new.  The BMW was $60,000 new.  Now look up the actual cash value of what each of those cars are worth now. 

Figure out the loss on each car.  Let's say the Volvo is worth $25,000  and the BMW is worth $38,000.  Then that shows you which car to buy.  The BMW holds it's resale better,

and therefore you don't lose as much money.

 

If it were me,  I would save $20,000 right now and buy a Subaru.  Subaru and Volvo share the complete drive train system.  They are the best cars for AWD.  Subaru holds it's

resale better than either of the other 2 cars.

 

This is why bankers and money investors all buy Mercedes-Benz.  A 5 year old MB is still worth 70% of it's full retail.




#764725 My New Headphones

Posted by The Smoke on 31 May 2017 - 12:23 PM

I have a set of Logitech mike/phones that are USB and they are pretty good.  I paid about $99 for them 2 years ago.

But I needed a pair that connected thru a 3.5 mini plug.  So I didn't need much.  I bought the Amazon suggested from them for $20.

I gotta tell you that these are great headphones.  The clarity and the depth of the bass is amazing.  They are really comfortable

for on-the-ear style.  Listening to music is so different now that I can run the headphones thru the HD audio in my PC.

 

Now all I gotta do is figure out why COD4 won't find them.  It still looks for the Logitechs.

 




#763372 15 Biggest Lies

Posted by The Smoke on 21 May 2017 - 08:00 PM

One sense she forgot to mention, direction.  The sense of direction is huge. Most men are born without it though.

You only use 100% of your brain power when watching excellent porn on the web.

 

Lie # 16.  I will respect you in the morning.  Honest.




#762937 I hate this....god how I hate these people

Posted by The Smoke on 19 May 2017 - 11:40 AM

1.  You are in a store, shopping, and here she comes out of a corner aisle , with her buggy, and plows into everybody.  Why?

 

Because she is looking back into the aisle she is leaving and still pushing that damn buggy forward into the busy aisle.

 

2.  In a store, busy day, and here is a group of people who decide that right in the middle of the busy aisle, they are going to have

a meeting.  And they see all the trouble they are causing, but still are so stupid that they cant take this to another aisle.

 

3. Everybody is going one way down this aisle, and of course, here comes stupid, going the wrong way.  And then stops to gawk at

a display in the middle of the aisle.  Why can't we have open season on these people?

 

4. Sitting in the parking lot, waiting for wife, when a car pulls in front of me and parks in a handicapped place.  Three young women

get out of car, and laugh and walk into the store.  A few minutes later, here is a wheelchair van looking for a place to park.  You guessed it.

Those girls are in a wheelchair only space.  So I call the Police and talk to them.  Within 10 minutes, here are the Police.  They check

the tags, and the display card.  Next thing I know...a tow truck is here and it hooks up and tows their car.  So my wife comes back and I tell

her we have to wait.  In about 30 minutes here come the girls. All talkative and kidding each other.  Then they see it.  Car is gone!!!

They are now in a tizzy and boy are they mad.  Then the police car pulls up.  The one girl runs to tell the cop that her car is stolen.  Then...

she gets the bad news.  What I could hear was this.  The parking tag was not hers.  It is not a Wheelchair tag.  And the ticket is going to

be...wait for it...................................$1500. 

 

Ah sweet justice.

 

 




#761711 Can someone please remove the Easter stuff.

Posted by The Smoke on 08 May 2017 - 02:34 PM

Thank you

 

 

God!  I have to do everything around here.




#761267 How stupid are you?

Posted by The Smoke on 06 May 2017 - 09:00 AM

On a scale of 1 to 2  how stupid are you?  Test your stupidity below.

 

 

You are standing on a train platform, concentrating on your cell phone. 

 

What do you do first?

 

1.  Step forward

 

2. Look up from your phone and see what is going on.