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words of wisdom that may bring a smile

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"Give someone enough rope, and eventually they will hang themselves"

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When I was about 6 years old, my Papa Sandy and I were eating cereal in the middle of the day.

He noticed I was sitting with both my legs tucked, and kept switching positions. Chuckling, he says to me:

 

"Morgan, you can do anything you want in this world .. except sit in a chair correctly."

 

I'm 20, and just fell over on my stool today.

I'm going to be President.

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Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire

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All women think their boyfriends are perfect...until they marry them.

 

Great sex ends at the altar.

 

The Roman Empire was the greatest democracy on the planet until they discovered drugs, wine, sex, and lying.  Just think what would have happened

to them if they had the internet.

 

They say, "Let sleeping dogs lie".  Goes for wives too.

 

Everytime you get into your car, there is a 5% chance you won't be coming home alive.  Everytime you ride a bicycle in traffic it goes up to 35%.

Riding in a tank to work, 0%.  Unless everyone owns a tank.

 

Sitting Bull said it best.  "I looked into my dreams and I would say that we are totally phucked"

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A man who is balding in the front, is a great thinker

and a man balding in the back, is a great lover

but, a man balding in both places, only thinks he is a great lover

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A man who is balding in the front, is a great thinker

and a man balding in the back, is a great lover

but, a man balding in both places, only thinks he is a great lover

 

 

Wait....let me see....yep,  Phoenix is totally bald.  So what does that say??

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Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening

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Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening

 

Or deadly.

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Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. — Voltaire
 

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"Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out." James B. Conant  :clap: 
 

Edited by .'-SkuLLy
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Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening

or stinks like rotten tuna fish.

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"There are three sides to every story, this one, that one, and the truth somewhere in between"

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Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of

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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a 'son of a b***' ~ Jack Nicholson

:lol:

Edited by .'-SkuLLy
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Anything you lose automatically doubles in value

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