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Posted

Just do it, you have nothing to lose, if you do not, you'll get away from the hand of another, she has a boyfriend? he did what he had to do, and you? ;)

Posted

when i read this i was like what?!?!?!?

 

so ur saying it hasn't worked for you? :P

Posted

You either risk losing her as a friend or you risk spending the next few years wondering "what if". I've been here, a number of times...either way you lose.

  • Like 1
Posted

You either risk losing her as a friend or you risk spending the next few years wondering "what if". I've been here, a number of times...either way you lose.

 

^this, but also what is the point if there is no risk?

 

it really works ^^ think it have worked for me 2 times :P

 

I've done it about 2 or 3 times. But only once was it actually planned out haha

  • Like 1
Posted

I've done it about 2 or 3 times. But only once was it actually planned out haha

Haha ^^ Don't think any of the times have been planned for me :P
Posted

So either it's love on first sight, or not at all? Are girls really that shallow?

 

No, not the case at all. But if you are not interested in someone that way, and have not been for a long time (in my case 4-5 years) Then what do you do? Tell them your not interested straight up? Or date them to make them happy, end up breaking their heart because your really not interested in them (in that way)

Thats shallow. dating someone when you have no feelings just because you are either to scared to tell them the truth, just want a girlfriend/boyfriend etc.

P.S I dont believe in "love at first sight" Love is not that simple.

Posted

P.S I dont believe in "love at first sight" Love is not that simple.

 

THANK YOU! love is hard, it is a conscious decision.. not some magical warm fuzzy feeling.

  • Like 1
Posted

Yes, yes they are.

 

Well, that will reduce my chances significantly... :P

 

But Renz here's my little bit of advice:

She has a bf. Work out how close they are by observation. When you see that it is working out more badly, you should go and visit her more often. So you can get even closer to her, and may speed up a possible breakup with her bf.

When they broke up, you should take things serious now. Be around her, because when people break up, they need some sort of distraction. (been trough this before and fell in love again by this) and be that distraction. Let her fall in love with you.

 

But most important:

1) Be subtle in the approach.

2) When you think it is ready, do it.

 

If it won't work out, you might have lost a good friend, and be broken about your feelings. But remember that you asked her, and that can be good enough, get over the things and spend time with other people. Who knows what kind of mad love will grow from that!

Posted

Honestly though.

 

There are so many different things that can happen and you should decide not only the best course of actions - but you shouldn't forget, that your also choosing the possible consequences of your actions.

There are *a lot* of possible actions and consequences for those actions, you can't anticipate them all, but you my friend, have an edge.

 

Here's my real advice, firstly - figure out what it is you want exactly, then apply knowledge of yourself and of the one that sparkled your interested and see what's reachable and what isn't. - Once you got that, check if there are more "Yes" than "No"s.

 

Let's assume there are more "No"s, then you should ask yourself "Am I willing to risk losing my friend because of this?" and if the answer is "Yes" - no need to continue reading, go for it!. If not, you should ask yourself are you able to live with the risk of "what if's"? If yes, "Are you *capable* of staying stable, as in you will not try in any way to alter the relationship unless it's in the best interest for said relationship?" <-- This means, that you'll go about things like normally. I've noticed that some people in such a situation that decided this was the best course of action found themselves getting annoying very quickly about a little thing that really was just pointless and irrelevant .. but in order to gain more and more attention they used it as an excuse. [This isn't lame, it's actually just something that might happen].

 

This is pretty much just a short example (it can actually be applied) of things to consider, of course this is just the basis and many more steps are required before you get a full picture and what you may call "clarity" of some sorts.

 

Another way of thinking? Probably, why? Simple, consider a good amount of (viable and likely) possible outcomes of your actions, analyse them and act on the outcome. But *please* do yourself a favour and *do not* simply reject a result cause you don't like it. Finish the entire thing (even what's unwritten) first and then decide.

 

.. Yes, lengthy post but hopefully somewhat informative.

Posted

I have never seen her bf. Ever. He doesn't even live near us. But he comes to her house and sleeps there for about 2 weeks during break. Which we are on one right now.

Posted

Thats the spirit (as shown by joedirt)

 

Renz, consider my advice:- I have been through same situation since 4 years. But I had patience. A girl with no bf. I observed her carefully, and 'read' her mind. I knew that she was not trustworthy. SO i gradually retreated. Then a friend of mine (backstabber) came off and proposed her. Then she broke that poor guy's heart too. Anyway that is what happened with me.

 

I tell you this :-

1) Girls cant be trusted. They can break you heart anytime. (if you have sincere love then also)

2) I am not sure how the girls in other countries behave but all i know is that girls on India are back stabbers, crooked, heartbreakers, selfish.

 

3) So Renz, I advice you to HOLD ON and control you emotions, as you become older and mature, you will know which path life guides you.

 

4) an also, a girl simply telling she needs your help or something like that doesnt mean she is madly in love with you..

 

5) Choose a girl wisely. If you are serious about this, then wrong decisions will affect you normal life.

 

 

Good luck mate, decision is yours, life is yours.

 

U Know what are u talking about!, thanks for advice C: and best wishes for you men!

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