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CDC denies existence of Zombies

BoomStick

By BoomStick
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BoomStick Newbie

BoomStick

Posted
Posted

Yup, this is a real thing.

 

The CDC have released a press statement saying that zombies don't exist, after a lot of strange and weird cannibalistic attacks happening across America -

 

 

* A story in Maryland where a man has been charged with killing a man and eating his brain’s and heart.

* A story in Canada about a porn star turned murderer and cannibal who is currently on the run from police.

* A story in Sweden where a man is alleged to have cut off his wife’s lips and eaten them.

* A separate story where a woman is alleged to have bitten her boyfriend’s penis.

* A story in New York where a man chewed the ear off of of another man at a Staten Island restaurant.

* A story in New Jersey where a man stabbed himself repeatedly in front of police and then threw his skin and intestines at them.

 

http://www.forbes.com/sites/gregorymcneal/2012/06/01/zombie-cannibal-apocalypse-cdc-weighs-in-but-is-abcs-castle-to-blame/

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/01/cdc-denies-zombies-existence_n_1562141.html

  • Like 1
G!NG3R420 Newbie

G!NG3R420

Posted
Posted

The CDC denies any type of disease that has any sort of allocations towards a zombie apocalypse, yet they have been following what is called the "nodding disease"?

 

http://www.dailytech.com/Baffling+Illness+Strikes+Africa+Turns+Children+Into+Violent+Zombies/article24276.htm

 

I think this is another case about the public starting to know too much and the government must react in a way that will have those mindless humans believe its not true.

 

 

Tip of the day....

 

DOUBLE TAP ALWAYS.

  • 3 weeks later...
12eh1yg3dqehbcaj Newbie

12eh1yg3dqehbcaj

Posted
Posted

The story continues... :)

 

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/florida-zombie-attack-naked-man-storms-girlfriend-house-bites-chunk-man-arm-article-1.1099760

Ken Newbie

Ken

Posted
Posted

The world is slowly going to hell... Well at least this is keeping the news interesting.

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