G!NG3R420 Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 My darling husband, Before you return from your business trip, I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately it's not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but fortunately the pick up came to a halt when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture of the damage for you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again. Your loving wife. XXX P.S. Your girlfriend called. 2 Quote
monkeysmack Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Dear wife, That wasn't my girlfriend but some stalker woman that I have restraining orders against. Where would you like the divorce papers sent. Your loving husband, XXX 1 Quote
icky?/ Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Dear wife, That wasn't my girlfriend but some stalker woman that I have restraining orders against. Where would you like the divorce papers sent. Your loving husband, XXX Quote
PiaNist Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 and this follows........ Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! the ex-wife replied..... Dear Ex-Husband, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem... 1 Quote
G!NG3R420 Posted October 4, 2011 Author Posted October 4, 2011 Wow, talk about some horrible notes =P Quote
Kat0n Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 ...my.....truck...WTF!?! it was ur truck?! damn you destroyed my Ferrari! Quote
ManOwaR Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Dear Wife , I am at home and all is ok. My car is in the front of the house. Is not the first time when you confuse things and places. I know cause my girlfriend called but I asked her to call your possible mistress and she told me there was a woman at the phone. Now I know who answer at the phone but also I tried to call him on the mobile phone , is ringing but no answer. Please check the garage again , I think he is still in the car. My frends tell me not to married with a blonde but now I am glad with this. Don`t come home , I will sent the divorce papers there. See you at court after your mistress funeral. PS : anyway , you remember where I live? I was not left in a business trip , I was at home all the time but you are missing from 5 days. Quote
Panini*Hobbit@mp3 Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 lmao so funny.. and the notes are even funnier! Quote
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