docwarren Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED: Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you,He or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.. Everything on your face stays its original color.. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives....On December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier. Men Are Just Happier People NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. · If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman . EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. Doc's THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnWayne Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 cute Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanaraud Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 gud woun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarzan Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I like it. The girls/women on the forums are hereby invited to write their own list. I'm looking forward to it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spitfire Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 This is too true :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icky?/ Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. This one cracked me up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreadBlade Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 That was a great list haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Masa_1964 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 So much truth on those sentences Masa_1964 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pedrorocks uk Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 This one cracked me up! indeed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristy Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Great find LOL tbh, this list describes only the cheerleader types and wannabes. of which there are many. that's why it's "common." but hey, what about the rest of us? i actually think that girls are happier than guys (aside from a week-long period every month >.>). Why girls are happier than guys: They know their children better. Children give the most happiness to their family. We're HOTTER. There's actually been research done showing that women make more money in the market. So...we're richer. Screw this, I'll just make a list of what makes me happy (raveshaw asked ). Otherwise I'm going to go off on a long spiel about why women are genetically BETTER than men. 1.) ET 2.) Fearless Assassins 3.) Minecraft 4.) Facebook 5.) Youtube/Hulu 6.) Hot guys-especially when I'm hanging out with them 7.) Good food-particularly fatty, greasy food that tastes so delish that consequences don't matter. 8.) Hanging out with my friends 9.) Partying 10.) Straight A's 11.) Good books 12.) Talking to people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Achiyan Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 well, im simple. picturing Kristy's sig with real people makes me happy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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