Phobia Posted January 14, 2014 Author Posted January 14, 2014 from the days before dos was an attack but instead an os Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay… 1 Quote
Phobia Posted January 15, 2014 Author Posted January 15, 2014 Bad spellers of the world untie 3 Quote
LeftWingVixen Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are. Some people are so poor, all they have is money. 3 Quote
Chameleon Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Here's an oldie but a goody! Crap in one hand, and wish in the other, see which one gets filled first Who is general error, and why is he reading my disk? 4 Quote
Ol Smoke Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 I always liked "General Command error" sounds so military. Here are some words of wisdom I have picked up over the years... Go 7 days without sex or crapping.... then you will find out what is really important in life. When someone asks you "How you been?" Never answer it for real. Just say "Good" No one really cares how you have been. And above all, Never repeat the question back to them. When two girls are talking...never...never interrupt them. When first seeing a beautiful woman...keep your eyes on her shoes. Then ask her where she got them. Most men have a 6" ****. Those that brag about the big one...don't have one. Big dicked men don't worry about such stuff. Women never care about the size of your ****...only the heart behind it. Give a woman any present and she will like it. Give her a massage and back scratch and she will love it. Give her your complete honesty and she will love you forever. Always let a woman undress herself. Always wear a brand new pair of boxers on any date. That way, if you have to make a run for it, at least you look good. When going to a bar or nightclub...always dress better than any other guy there. When wearing a suit...always have a brightly colored cloth in your suit lapel pocket, and matching socks. The brightest male in the pack gets the attention from the most females. When dressing up for a night out...trim your neckline. Scraggy neck hair is a dead giveaway that you aren't that cool. When on a date and you have to use the restroom, never say so. Always say, "Please, excuse me for a moment" is all you need to say. Always carry a flossing tool with you. Food in the teeth is not a good look. 2 Quote
Chameleon Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 If I had a million dollars, and you had a feather up your butt, we would both be tickled.. Quote
LeftWingVixen Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls, and the walls of hospitals have seen more prayers than the walls in churches. "Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats." - Howard Aiken "Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness." -Alejandro Jodorowsky Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain. Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box. Think; It's not illegal yet. 1 Quote
Chameleon Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 People seeking advice are usually only looking for a partner in crime 1 Quote
Phobia Posted January 16, 2014 Author Posted January 16, 2014 Bald guys never have a bad hair day 1 Quote
Ol Smoke Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 Bald guys never have a bad hair day That must be why Phoenix is always so happy. 1 Quote
Chameleon Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 That must be why Phoenix is always so happy. lol nailed it! 1 Quote
Chameleon Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) Here are a couple that I grew up hearing from my grandmother.. "I'm madder than an old wet hen!" "I called her everything but the milk cow" "That boy is as useless as tits on a boar hog!" "If the Lord is willing, and the creek don't rise" Edited January 17, 2014 by Ph0eniX Quote
Ol Smoke Posted January 18, 2014 Posted January 18, 2014 "yeah that will happen when hell freezes over or politicians stop lying " "I promise you...I never had sex with that woman" "Honest to God officer...." Well bless your little pea pickin' heart" He's cuter than a pig in pajamas" "TV is a box that lies to us constantly...and we believe it...whole heartedly." "The Benghazi attack was not Al Quida lead" "I swear that we had data that there were WMD's in Iraq" "I am going to Berlin to kick that little paper hanger in the ass" Quote
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