Xonix Posted May 21, 2020 Posted May 21, 2020 First of all i will tell things in a really random order so stay with me. Just by telling my first name you can find me on social media and im not sure if i want that so plenty of greetings from HenQ! I am fenno-ecuadoriano (if thats spelled right). I spoke only spanish to when i was 7yo, after that my parents broke up due to domestic violence. I know this is abit akward joke but ay breaking the ice! If you search a certain size of... Lets say mens equipment ecuadorians are the strong second of the world XD. The avrage height of an ecuadorian man is about 168cm, yet i am 192cm tall. Tallest man on both sides of my family. (I will hopefully be able to add a profile pic after this post, so you will possibly see your fisrt finnish-ecuadorian person. If someone cares :c) To know me abit over my comfort on the internet, a big part of how i function in every day life depends on my mental problems. My diagnosis are: bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, depression and post traumatic disorder. Even with out saying, these are not "light" diagnosies. Yet ive been told by many people that i dont seem like a person with all that. And that triggers me becouse what kind is a person with these then? I dont belong in any box imo. My illness bloomed when i was 15-16yo, i was on this camp and didnt sleep for 3 days and guess what, got my first psychosis. Ive had those about 5-6 times. I was told by a doctor that after all of those im Lucky to not have braindamage. Hehe psychosis hitted a 0. Obviously ive been on a mental asylum many times, but the worst is that after one night of sleep there, my psychosis is over and i need to be there for 2 weeks with people who are a bit... Welp insane. On my last visit to the mental hospital i met the Mother of my son. She has dyed blue hair (not emo and doesnt call her self a gamer grill) and has what ever room she enters gasping. I call her eyes "space eyes", they are a stunning green and yellow mix with pattern that looks like stardust (ive seen the pattern in space on google images). Her smile at midsummer on the middle of a calm lake, just the two of us in a Rowing boat, will stay in my mind so clear for the rest of my life. All of that is just the surface. She understands me better than i do myself, shows her love every day, so deeply. Takes care of me, makes amazing food and i could 4 reel (🌚) go on and on with this. I love her more than video games, more than life. She is very artistic, has done lot of great Electronic music, amazing paintings. She started League of Legends on her first own computer with my guidance about 9 months ago and is now better in the jungle than me :D. (ive played since 2013). Our son is sleeping on my lap right now, as im writing all this. He is "la luz de mi vida". Every morning when i get to the livingroom, put some music and look him in the eyes, he smiles so bright that i cant be depressed. At under 6 weeks old he played with a Ball. He is now abit under 3 months old and ive been calling him Nitro. I have some experience with different martial arts and i bet i could kick you dowm with (translated to english) "horse kick" 😂😂 no but for real, in my trainings if a small person is my pair on training this kick, they fly away XD Overall i'd say that ive came through alot of shit but here i am, a cheerful person with the most stupidly genious jokes. I'll round it up here with the questions on the opening post. First name: Call me HenQ Any sort of Nickname?: - Age: 22 What country are you from?: Finland Are you a Parent?: Yes How many siblings do you have?: 5 What's your shoe size?: 47-49 What do you do for a living?: mental illnes🌚 Greatest Fear?: high places Most Exciting thing you've ever done?: my son Most embarrassing thing you've ever done?: too many to tell First thing you look for in a new friend?: does he respect me back Farthest you've been from home?: idk What brought you to the Fearless Assassins servers/forum?: to the servers i went just becouse it has alot of players. Forums to contact smiley about a config Cat or Dog?: own a cat but want a dog once i can get us a house from the countryside (my Dream) What are your hobbies?: video games, karate, hapkido and umm i guess thats it What kind of Sports do you like?: ones involving martial arts or gaming xd oh and hokey if Finland is the world champion that year🌚 What's your favorite color?: Wine Red or purple How about your favorite type of music?: Electronic with nice melody and BOM BOM BOM BUUM BOM BOM Favorite Song?: The calling (Da tweekaz remix) What's your favorite TV show?: Rick & Morty or Lucifer What kind of movies do you like? (Scary, comedy, drama etc): a movie that leaves me a feeling Favorite Movie?: not sure Favorite Book?: Silmarillion What do you like most about yourself?: My honesty in any group of people. What do you hate most about yourself?: My face shows everything i think🌚 What makes you very happy?: my sons smile What makes you very sad?: usually my childhood What's your favorite beverage?: Pepsi Cherry or Mowntaindew What you're favorite food/snack?: chili con carne by me Favorite actor/Actress?: cant remember name Favorite season? Why?: fall and cuz i like to wear layers of clothes and be "dapper" Favorite subject in school?: history or PE Favorite thing to learn about?: controlling and living with my illness so i guess improving my self that way If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?: ECUADOR What are your top three games of all time?: Wolfenstein ET, Halo/r6 siege and maybeeee league or smite Besides shooters, what is your favorite genre of gaming?: MOBA Name one game in your collection you'd be embarrassed to tell your friends about:dont have How many games do you own?: dont know Do you play console?: on gfs xbox one i play cod or GTA and on my 360 i play halo and r6 vegas 2 What platform do you spend most of your gaming on? (PS, Xbox, Steam, Android etc): steam and Android i guess. What's your favorite internet site (That is not FA ;P): youtube 2 1 Quote
Xonix Posted May 21, 2020 Author Posted May 21, 2020 I typed this fairly quick and pretty much told alot about my illness but... I am not only my illness but its hard for me to tell you something actually about myself but ill try more. I am a calm person but if you get me to lose it i am like a small animal in a corner... I'm "a chlid in my mind" but may seem "mature for my age" irl. Whole my life untill last year ive had many toxic persons in my life but now ive cut them off. I am free to breathe search for my way of being in this world. I have purpose in my life for the first time in my life and it feels great but at the same time, its alot of worry and fear of losing everything. My illness is making things tough atm, i'm having both sides of the bipolar and well here i go again with the sickness. I read my post and i feel like it looks like a post of a very lownly person but id say its cuz i may have hypomani. Now ive said too much and will try to calm my self. Hopefully i wont be judged, im thinking on joining the discord and there i can give a better impression about myself. I wish you a beautiful day! 2 Quote
Sunno Posted May 21, 2020 Posted May 21, 2020 First of all: hello and welcome! I believe nobody will judge you, we all have some past more or less the one we can be proud of, everything you wrote is understandable and what matters is that everything is okay now ^^ . I don't like describing myself and I think there's nothing wrong with that, don't forget we're here to have some fun together! Have a nice day too! Quote
Chuuu Posted May 21, 2020 Posted May 21, 2020 7 hours ago, Xonix said: Electronic with nice melody and BOM BOM BOM BUUM BOM BOM First to say welcome mate to forum's and stick around , have fun and take care. I quote that and i need to say i like you hahah i like that BOM BOM BOM . Oke well Okay, I read word for word and I can tell you EVERY HONOR, I know a lot of people like that and I met them within 2 weeks because I study psychology. As for life, buddy, you have to keep up whatever you are and even be the worst of all people. Do what you love, because life is not long, it is short, so keep going, forget about all your problems, there are a lot of them, so they complain and get lost in all that. Appreciate what you have. As you stated above, be with your loved ones and the ones you love, others will only hinder you in any problem, and as for the problem, avoid it. Because you have none of that. Ask me anything , sure i will answer you the right info . Good Luck mate 1 Quote
Smileyyy Posted May 21, 2020 Posted May 21, 2020 Hey @Xonix. Met you a couple of months ago on jay1, as you said never noticed you had any of the things you said. I was diagnosed with depression myself about 3-4 years ago? I think. Have lost track of time since then You always keep me updated about your son, how he takes away your sleep etc. I love to hear about it, it even tears me up since I have had some stuff happen lately but that's another story! The way you talk about the mother of your child is absolutely heart warming, I wish you three (or more to come ) a beautiful life. But.. welcome to the forums and stick around! 1 1 Quote
Cross Marian Posted May 22, 2020 Posted May 22, 2020 Hi Xonix, Welcome to our forum! Hope you will like it here as well Quote
Esports Fox Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 Since you said ask me anything here's one for you: What is the meaning of life. 1 Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.