LeFish

114: Been pulled from the front for a while. Apparently keeping someone on the offensive for a couple years straight is a bad idea. 115: Nothing much to say about today. The sun did what it does, which is take blooming forever to cross the sky. Can't wait until I can Radio again. 116: Snuck into the supplies depot to have a chat with Gus. 117: Was arrested for sneaking into the supply depot, having a trial tomorrow. 118: They found me guilty of trespassing but not of theft (Since I took nothing), had a pay cut. 119: Joke Machine broke today, nothing more to say. 120: My ability to perform is in question. Apparently talking to a Radio is weird. I see people do it all the time. Sometimes it replies back! 121: Was playing some sort of card game with the lads when a Panzerfaust shot flew into the middle of the camp, a foot from me. Somehow I survived along with everyone else. Thank my lucky Panzerfaust Magnet. 122: Decided to write a book alongside the diary. Not sure if it will get anywhere. The lads certainly don't think it will. 123: Still on reserve duty. Managed to convince the higher ups to let me wear Gus about. 124: Disaster struck today, I dropped my tea. Been given time to mourn. 125: Still in mourning. 126: Recovered from the tragedy that struck. Gus provided comfort the entire way through, some people gave me weird looks. 127: Been reported to HR by an assault with a radio for being "of my rocker". They're going to have an official examination. 128: Saw the Ghost of Steven Foster, and this is what I told him as I gazed into his eyes: Shove off, I'm in the middle of a medical examination. 129: Been pulled from the fighting fully, is this where my journey ends? 130: ... 131: ... 132: ... 132: R 133: A 134: D 135: I 136: O 137: !

77 - Got a new hobby today, dying. (Not actually death of course, otherwise I wouldn't be able to post these entries). I have a tendency to get shot. Or burned. Or blown up. Luckily Gus is fine. 78 - Sent to hospital after a panzerfaust blew up in my face. They recommend I remove my Lucky Panzerfaust Magnet for some bizarre reason. Declined the offer, wearing it while I heal. 79 - Still in hospital, most injuries don't disappear in a day. 80 - Hospital hit by a panzerfaust, no idea why. There are no Germans about and we're miles behind friendly lines. Witnesses say it flew over the hills beside us all the way to the hospital. 81 - Relocated to another ward. 82 - Released from hospital, they seem to think that bleeding profusely from my face is not bad enough to stop sending me to the front. 83 - Walter failed me today, only had four shots instead of six. Two were blanks. Ended up with a face full of Karabiner 98. 84 - Walter restored my faith in him, took out 4 Krauts with one lot of rounds. 85 - Eddie (Edward) got hit by an explosion, he's been sent back for repairs. In the meantime I get Stanley the STEN. 86 - Haven't had Gov lead for a while, maybe he's retired. 87 - Just noticed I have a very bad case of bleeding profusely from the face, seems to have been around for 5 days, funny that... 86 - Forgot to mention we got a new officer. He called arty on us again and was immediately shot. 88 - Fired a Panzerfaust I nicked from a German, blew up after being launched, must have hit an invisible wall placed by God. Back to the hospital. 89 - I apparently have a lithp now. Not thure why. Thouldn't bee too much of an ithue. 90 - Thtill in Hothpital. 91 - Doctorth thtitched my fathe and now it hurtth to thpeak. They claim it thould cure the lithp. 92 - Thlept 93 - They removed the stitches, I don't think the lisp is cure, stuck with it for life. Woe is me. 94 - Eddie came back from the workshop. They've also given me Stanley for my service. Apparently going back to fight after going to hospital five odd times, and after being a POW is impressive. 95 - In remembrance of my first Radio, I shall give him a name. Rupert, may he rest in peace. 96 - Forgot to breathe at one point, a field medic had to help teach me again. 97 - Got a medal for my exemplary service after fighting as the last one from my squad in a hold out battle to slow the German advance. Eddie ran out of bullets, Stanley got dented, Walter suffered some fire damage and Gus saved me from an explosion. After they found me, they congratulated me with a slap on the back (Or well, on a broken Gus) and gave me some Scotch they smuggled in. 98 - Gus was repaired rather quick, Stanley still being "undented". 99 - Officer called a Typhoon Strike on a house some Krauts were holed up in, the Typhoon crashed into it after a Panzerfaust hit its wing. Saved my life though, it was heading right towards me. 100 - Looked back at some of the older entries that got posted. For some reason they removed Entry 23 - 30. I'll rewrite them here. (Previous entry was me on the hunt for a radio. No need to open that entry set now) Entry 23: I'm seeing visions of Radios, I think I might be going delusional. Entry 24: Crossed a lake, saw a radio in it, but it was German. Entry 25: The Radio vision led me to a German supply base, going to see what I find. Entry 26: This is a long one, so I'll start from the top: I went to snoop around the supply base I found (Now referred to as SB) when I came into contact with an opposing radioman. I smacked him with my axe (Queen sends her regards) but left his radio (German make of course). I went to move in but was spotted by a sniper, to hide from him I went behind some gas barrels. Unfortunately, he seemed very dense so kept firing despite no line of sight. In fact his mate MG also joined in. This caused the barrels to set alight so I dived out the way into a bush. The barrels then exploded causing a chain reaction. The barrels' explosion caused a truck to explode which caused an armoured transport to explode which did not cause a tank to explode but did explode the Flak 88 next to the tank, which caused a house to explode, which must have been filled with more fuel as it then blew up a shed full of munitions which then blew up another one, who's door flew off and destroyed the guard towers while the explosion destroyed yet another shed which cause a chain reaction, causing all of the walls around the SB to collapse which cause the radios to blow up (but they were German anyway) which left me standing in a bush, in a Kilt (Just pulling your leg, I was still in uniform like a decent man) in the middle of a destroyed SB on scorched earth. Short version: complete waste of time, no Allied Radio. Entry 27: Met a French Gentleman on the streets, he didn't have a radio. Entry 28: Radio Entry 29: Radio Entry 30: R. Entry 30.2: A. Entry 30.4: D. Entry 30.6: I. Entry 30.8: 0! (All caught up) 101 - Found some dark liquid I think is some sort of French Beer, those on the front aren't supposed to drink, but Gus really needs something to calm his nerves. 102 - Turns out the dark liquid wasn't French Beer, but an impure oil reserve. Might explain why it was in a giant tanker and not a bottle. 203 - Not much happening today. 104 - The last entry had a typo, it was supposed to be: 103 - Not much is happening todat. 105 - The last entry had a typo, it was supposed to be: 104 - The last entry had a typo, it was supposed to be: 103 - Not much is happening today. 106 - A storm broke over and I couldn't use my radio. Cause some PTSD from the dark days of Entry 19 to Entry 33. 107 - Some guy asked if there was an "end card achievement for PPK kills" I was gobsmacked! End card achievement for the PPK? No good meaning Ally would use a German handgun, disgraceful. 108 - Also concerned what he meant by "end card achievement". Is there some sort of competition going on that I didn't know? What is the prize? Do I get something to decorate Gus? 109 - Didn't win any tournament but I did find a nice shell casing that split to form a bird shape. Goes well with Gus. 110 - Had a nap at 2:30pm (GMT) today. First on in ages. Father would be proud. 111 - Apparently being able to run forever is superhuman and I shouldn't be able to do it. These chaps are just jealous at my fitness. 112 - One of the lasses in the group managed to get 30 head shots in a row. Pretty impressive. Glad I took binoculars with me today. 113 - I do say, it's been a while since we've had peace, eh chaps?

Entry 1 of diary: I can't remember the first time I took up the radio, 'twas a while from now since. Officers are rather competent and I try to stick with them, like a good radio man! Entry 2: Not much different from entry 1, got shot in the foot when I dropped my rifle though. This is why I don't trust semi-automatic weapons. Entry 3: Got another bad officer today, kept calling Arty on our team. There was a mutiny and he was "reassigned" to other duties. I think they shot him. Entry 4: Reassigned to a new group, by the nickname "Fearless Assassins". Considering this is a war and none of them seem to be assassinating people, I think only fearless applies to them. Entry 5: Saw one of the lads take out a shovel and bludgeon to death 12 Germans. Gotta say, pretty impressive. Entry 6: Got a new gov, he is inspiring and effective with the radio supports, certainly killed over 100 in the span of 10 minutes. Entry 7: Haven't seen the officer today. Did see the wrong end of a barrel though, I think this head injury will take a while to heal. Entry 8: Sent back into duty, was happy to find gov there. He doesn't call me by my name, but eh. Entry 9: Radio got shot out, need to buy a new one. Turns out, they're not bullet proof, just very good at stopping small small arms. Entry 10: Shot my foot again, need to stop picking the semi-autos. Entry 11: Officer was recovering from an unfortunate accident including a pot, a German and an axe, so I had to run without one. Used smokes to advance but ended up alone as everyone else died. Entry 12: Got lost from the main force, stranded in German held territory. Sent a call for help, but the Germans tracked the signal and so I took a leisurely stroll to a POW camp. Very nice lawn. Entry 13: Escaped from the POW camp and recovered my radio, score! Still lost though. I think I'm close to the sea, but I can't tell. Patrols keep forcing me to change direction. Entry 14: I can smell another radioman nearby, off to see if I can find him. Entry 15: Turned out to be an assault with a radio. A real cop out. Either way, good to see another friendly face. Entry 16: Found an American advance force, so joined up with them. Unfortunately the officer called arty on us and we suffered major losses. I feel like I've met him before. Entry 17: Got bazooka'd by a engineer while trying to have a civilised conversation with a German officer. I survived somehow, but it went red and suddenly I was unable to move at all. Entry 18: Some weird tournament results blocked my eyesight, I think I might be in a movie. Entry 19: Turns out I was just under the influence of Radio Poisoning, need to get a new one as the last one leaked. Entry 20: Looking for a new Radio. Entry 21: Still looking Entry 22: As previous Entry 31: I can smell one, it's close now. Entry 32: Met Gov again, was sad I was unable to provide a radio, still on the hunt. Entry 33: Met the German officer who died again. Unable to provide a radio. . -. - .-. -.-- / ...-- ....- ---... / ..-. --- ..- -. -.. / .- / ... --- . / .. ... ... ..- . / .-. .- -.. .. --- --..-- / --- -. .-.. -.-- / .-- --- .-. -.- ... / .. -. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . .-.-.- . -. - .-. -.-- / ...-- ..... ---... / ..- -. .- -... .-.. . / - --- / -.-. .- .-.. .-.. / ..-. .. .-. . / ... ..- .--. .--. --- .-. - --..-- / - .... . / .--. . --- .--. .-.. . / .-. . -.-. . .. ...- .. -. --. / -.-. .- -. .----. - / ..- -. -.. . .-. ... - .- -. -.. / -- -.-- / -- . ... ... .- --. . ... / --.- ..- .. -.-. -.- / . -. --- ..- --. .... .-.-.- Entry 36: Got a new radio, all I had to do was sign my soul to the devil (In reality, I just filed a report and got a new one, but the Higher Ups make it feel like I've gone back in time to 1916) Entry 37: Went back in time to 1916, not sure how to get back. Entry 38: Still stuck Entry 39: Made it back to the present, I tried to get an officer to make a call, the world broke apart and I wound out back to where I should be. The Germans who I appeared beside weren't too happy. Entry 40: Used the radio to call in an artillery strike then used the explosion to rag doll me back to friendly territory. Entry 41: Back with Fearless Assassins, been a while, they're happy to welcome me back. Entry 42: An officer tried to call me over to use the radio but a flamer got to him first. Entry 43: Has a house party with some senior members in FA in the kitchen of a house we were defending. The oven did not last long enough to bake the cake as it got hit by an artillery shell. Entry 44: Mistakes were made and now I'm in a field hospital. Entry 45: Somehow managed to shoot myself in the knee with my knife while at hospital. The Higher Ups want a word. Entry 46: Got an updated radio, no change in function, it is just a slightly darker shade and has some numbers stamped into it. I've called him George. Entry 47: Sorta annoyed at how I don't have headphones with my radio, so whenever the HQ says something, all the Germans hear. Might have to make an investment. Entry 48: Was denied headphones, reason: The other people need to hear it too and the Germans can't hear it anyway. I find that hard to believe. Entry 49: Annoyed that I can't take a Vickers with my Radio so I've taken an Ithaca instead. Entry 50: Switched back to rifle, more effective overall. Entry 51: Assigned to gov again, I forgot to mention that a lot of the officers in this group is very competent due to my focus on gov, but he was my NCO once more today. Entry 52: Rifle suddenly aged 5 years and is worn out. Still works fine though. Entry 53: Became Scottish. Entry 54: Turns out, setting krauts on fire causes them to burn to death. An effective way to do this is with the White Phosphorous smoke grenades, so I've re-evaluated my view on them and decided they were offensive rather than defensive. Entry 55: Turns out, chemical weapons are a war crime. Entry 56: Turns out, I can claim WP is being used purely as smoke and that if they happen to walk into it and burn to death it is their fault. Entry 57: ib walked into a WP smokescreen, Rest in Peace. Entry 58: Just realised no one knew ib. He was a very good bayonetter. New term I've coined. Entry 59: In remembrance of ib, I've attached a bayonet to my rifle. Entry 60: Still need practice with bayonet, keep accidentally cutting off the antenna of my radio. Entry 61: My radio died. We held a small funeral. Entry 62: Got a new radio, I'm calling him Gus. Entry 63: Gus saved my life today, stopped a knife hitting my back, I shall have to get him a medal. Entry 64: Apparently it is weird to name my equipment, Edward the Lee Enfield disagrees. Entry 65: Ran out of ammo, switching to Walter the Webley. Entry 66: Officer called in supplies. Only took 8 people constantly "Requesting Ammo" for him to get the hint. Entry 67: The last officer was shot by a sniper, he may not have been perfect, but he was courageous. Entry 68: Another one of the great Officers from FA led today, I should probably mention them more. Entry 69: Saw a ghost, turned out to be my first ever radio. I miss him. Entry 70: Lost my helmet to an explosion so I was given a hat, this will certainly protect my skull. Entry 71: Turns out the hat is as hard as the helmet, go figure. Entry 72: No officer today, got shot a few times, Gus made it through safely though. Entry 73: Beach landings are getting tiresome now, we should probably actually advance. Entry 74: Was arrested by Military Police for trying to bayonet charge the enemy on defence, at least I didn't randomly die. Entry 75: Release and got Gus, Edward and Walter back. Entry 76: This war is dragging on, innit chaps.

before the world

"plz no" said

but rather timely

For meaningless phrases

Fire guns from

fried bacon strips

but were they?

Which made them

[insert description here]

escape route, so

And 'twas fish

For it was