Sweet & Sour Chicken

[Antichrist]

Alright this is the link to the original: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Sweet-and-Sour-Chicken-I/Detail.aspx?event8=1&prop24=SR_Thumb&e11=sweet%20and%20sour%20chicken&e8=Quick%20Search&event10=1&e7=Home%20Page

Here's what is listed on the site:

Original recipe makes 8 servings

1 (8 ounce) can pineapple chunks, drained (juice reserved)

1/4 cup cornstarch

1 3/4 cups water, divided

3/4 cup white sugar

1/2 cup distilled white vinegar

2 drops orange food color

8 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves - cut into 1 inch cubes

2 1/4 cups self-rising flour

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

2 tablespoons cornstarch

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon ground white pepper

1 egg

1 1/2 cups water

1 quart vegetable oil for frying

2 green bell pepper, cut into 1 inch pieces

Directions

In a saucepan, combine 1 1/2 cups water, sugar, vinegar, reserved pineapple juice, and orange food coloring. Heat to boiling. Turn off heat. Combine 1/4 cup cornstarch and 1/4 cup water; slowly stir into saucepan. Continue stirring until mixture thickens.
Combine flour, 2 tablespoons oil, 2 tablespoons cornstarch, salt, white pepper, and egg. Add 1 1/2 cups water gradually to make a thick batter. Stir to blend thoroughly. Add chicken pieces, and stir until chicken is well coated.
Heat oil in skillet or wok to 360 degrees F (180 degrees C). Fry chicken pieces in hot oil 10 minutes, or until golden. Remove chicken, and drain on paper towels.
When ready to serve, layer green peppers, pineapple chunks, and cooked chicken pieces on a platter. Pour hot sweet and sour sauce over top.


Hooray.

Feel free to try it out, but here's the Antichrist style of the same recipe:

Chicken. We start with discussing meat just because I said so. This tastes good. So you won't just want dinner, when lunch time comes tomorrow, or even a snack later, (or breakfast the next day if you're like me) you'll say to yourself F*CK I wish I had more of that shit. (This is from experience, trust me!)

2 breasts per person is the rule! Boneless skinless breasts! Use the recipe conversion thingy on the site to adjust for servings. The site says it feeds 8 people, but that's bullshit lol. It will feed 4 people 2 times

Ok anyways I basically cut the recipe in half when cooking for my girlfriend and I, as it uses 4 breasts, so here it is from my recipe paper that I have stuck to the side of my fridge:

Also TSP means TEASPOON, and TBSP means TABLESPOON

1- 8 ounce can pineapple chunks (I don't know who sells them this small. My cans are like 20 ounces, so I drink the extra juice, or I share it with my dog if I feel generous The ratio is 2.5 cans of 8oz : 1 can of 20oz. Pour whats left into a measuring device.. like one of those large 4 cup clear measuring cups works great. Now divide the total by 2.5. Then divide that number by 2. THAT is how much pineapple juice to use. I know.. math while cooking.. And you told your math teacher you'd never need this stuff. She has the last laugh now!

2 TBSP corn starch (You will probably need more too)

3/4 cup + 2TBSP water (the total amount will be divided)

1/4 cup + 2TBSP white sugar

1/4 cup white vinegar (I have also used rice vinegar in the recipe as well, both work)

2 drops orange food coloring? They must be on crack. I tried it this way. It looks stupid. I don't know about you, the sweet and sour sauce from the restaurants around here is usually pretty damn RED. Throw the orange food coloring at your wife and tell her to get you a beer (Make sure you remove the cap first) Then grab a bottle of red food coloring. Or skip this step and use orange if your wife can take you in a fight. I also use more than 2 drops. Sissies. Keep adding that shit drop by drop until you get the color you want.

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts. No you can't use soy here. WTF

1 cup + 2TBSP self rising flour. This is just normal white flour. Don't throw this at your wife. It's going to hurt like hell with a headshot. I have recently replaced using flour, with using that bisquick baking mix. It works great, and my girlfriend commented how much better it tasted, so I've been replacing the flour with bisquick from now on.

1TBSP vegetable oil

1/4TSP salt

1/8TS white pepper (I never have white pepper, so I just use black pepper. No I'm not racist against pepper)

1/2 egg Ok.. I don't know how to cut an egg in half. I just use the whole thing in my version. Plus chicken embryos are yummy.

2TBSP cornstarch Yes more of it.

3/4 cup water I know.. more water. You should have this on hand

1 quart vegetable oil for frying is A LOT. I start with about 1/4cup-1/2 cup and that's usually plenty.

2 green bell pepper - This is great if you're a rabbit. You can also use carrots, the pineapple chunks, broccoli would work too, but I just serve this with rice. I don't use vegetables.

Ok Lets cook this shit.


In a saucepan, combine 1 1/2 cups water, sugar, vinegar, reserved pineapple juice, and RED food coloring because you threw the orange food coloring at your wife. Heat to boiling. Turn off heat. Combine 1/4 cup cornstarch and 1/4 cup COLD water in a seperate bowl or cup; slowly stir into saucepan. Continue stirring until mixture thickens. This is where you might need to add some more, so have a little extra cornstarch! I find that the mixture thickens nicely while it cools, more than if it just stays hot, so I let it cool to thicken it, then heat it back up and it's nice and thick, as well as hot. Add extra water/cornstarch as desired to make it thick to your preference. But always add cornstarch to cold water first, mix, then slowly add to the hot liquid. Adding cornstarch right into hot water will be impossible to stir. While cooking, continue snacking on pineapple chunks, telling yourself OMG these are so good, I haven't had pineapple in so long. Watch the number of chunks slowly reduce to numbers barely useable in the recipe, and keep telling yourself ok, only 1 more piece, but grab 2 or 3 each time, just to make use of all tines on the fork. When you finish the whole can, just keep telling yourself it's going to taste better without pieces of stupid pineapple getting in the way.
 

Now we need to discuss this chicken. The original recipe says nothing about it, so I have to. Firstly DO NOT USE FROZEN CHICKEN. It will not cook properly, and you may end up with uncooked centers, along with salmonella poisoning... Second..TRIM THE FAT! That shit is gross. It's going to save some calories as well. And really.. who wants to eat fat? You may also find cartilage remnants along the breast on one of the long sides. Cut that off too. That's no good. And near the thicker part of the brest on one of the long sides there may also be a vein. lol I cut that off too. Who wants to eat a vein? Ok now that we're done with that, It's time to cut the chicken. I haven't totally mastered the whole round chicken pieces that I get from the restaurant, but I still like to cut my pieces to be similar in size and thickness. Keeping them all uniform will help keep the cooking process moving at a steady pace, meaning that the order you add the pieces to the pan, will be the same order you flip them, and the same order you remove them.

 

Combine flour or bisquick mix, 2 tablespoons oil, 2 tablespoons cornstarch, salt, white pepper, and egg. Add (YOU WILL NOT USE THE FULL AMOUNT OF WATER: 1 1/2cups) water gradually to make a thick batter. You want the batter to be VERY thick. It should fall off the spoon in a plop plop plop not a steady pouring stream. It needs to be thick enough to STICK to the chicken. Stir to blend thoroughly. Add chicken pieces, and stir until chicken is well coated.
Heat oil in skillet or wok to 360 degrees F (180 degrees C) I don't use a thermometer. Heat the oil until you can drop a drop of water into it, and it immediately sizzles and disperses. Fry chicken pieces in hot oil 10 minutes, or until golden. Remove chicken, and drain on paper towels. You will want to do several smaller batches. Drop the chicken pieces in BY HAND, one at a time, and keep them moving around so they don't stick to the pan, or to each other. If you have a non stick pan, or a non stick wok, now is the time to use it. If your chicken sticks to the pan, it'll rip the batter off. If your batter isn't thick enough, you'll have half of your chicken with batter, and the other half will be naked. Nobody likes naked sweet and sour chicken. You have been warned.

 

When the first batch of chicken is removed, take a piece, cut it in half, dip half into the sweet and sour sauce on the stove and enjoy your work. Take the other half, dip, and let your dog enjoy that. Your wife gets none. She can wait. Needy b*tch. Tell her to go start laundry or something.

 

When ready to serve, layer green peppers, pineapple chunks, and cooked chicken pieces on a platter. Pour hot sweet and sour sauce over top. I skip this step completely. I actually ROFL a bit. I ate all the damn pineapple, and I don't want to eat green pepper in my sweet and sour chicken.

I make rice instead I use standard rice, not that instant rice shit. The ratios of rice to water is 1:2. 1.5 cups of rice: 3 cups of water works well for me because when I have Chinese food.. I eat a lot. Adjust according to how fat you are much you enjoy Chinese food.

 

When all the stuff is done, throw all the chicken back into the wok or pan if it's big enough just to warm it up once more.

 

And what's this shit about a platter? Each person takes what they want, then you can pour the sweet and sour sauce into a bowl if you like to dip, or drizzle that shit right on top of the chicken on your plate. But this platter idea is stupid.

 

*Disclaimer: I will not be responsible if you injure, harm, maim, or kill yourself or others while cooking this recipe. Furthermore, by cooking the recipe, you accept all liability if you burn your house down or singe your eyebrows. Why were you looking at the fire that close anyways? You also agree that by cooking this recipe you will donate an additional $5 to F|A upon completion of your meal, just because it's the best clan ever.

[Midnight]

Thank you! See how easy that was.

 

Love the disclaimer! Just read it, like and hour after I originally posted

Edited January 10, 2014 by InfectiousBubbles

[Razzled]

whats the nutritional info?? Cuz it sounds like it'll make you fat

[Antichrist]

whats the nutritional info?? Cuz it sounds like it'll make you fat

 

Nutritional info is roughly: 10 "oh my god this is good!", 6 "holy shit this tastes almost identical!!" , 4 "I cant wait to eat it tomorrow!" and 2 or 3 "oh my f*cking god, I'm full"

[SiD]

Rock on, man. I'm gonna try this sometime next week. Sounds really good. Thanks, dude!

[Midnight]

You know that white pepper is not as strong and slightly sweeter then regular black pepper, hence the use in sauces.  Also note that freshly crushing peppercorns will result in a more profound and noted flavor. 

 

I might tweak this a bit, but agree I'm not a rabbit. Although I will use peppers, just not green. Yellow is preferred. Slightly sweeter and more fresh tasting...

[Razzled]

Nutritional info is roughly: 10 "oh my god this is good!", 6 "holy shit this tastes almost identical!!" , 4 "I cant wait to eat it tomorrow!" and 2 or 3 "oh my f*cking god, I'm full"

so it's bad for you then???

[Midnight]

so it's bad for you then???

Anything is bad for you if you eat/drink and excess of it. While it's said that Chinese food is higher is sodium and msg, their food is generally healthier and fresher then say Italian or a sandwich.  But again, you want to eat Sweet and Sour chicken to the portion size.

[Antichrist]

And I'll be officially making this again for dinner Sunday.

[CheepHeep]

Anti the chef Grrr....stop eating my kind

[PiaNist]

i actually tried cooking this before but made a big mistake with my batter..it was runny & not thick & definitely not in "plop plop plop" texture ...our traditional sweet n sour has white onions, green/red bell pepper, pineapple, carrots, & cucumbers

Edited January 11, 2014 by PiaNist

[Antichrist]

i actually tried cooking this before but made a big mistake with my batter..it was runny & not thick & definitely not in "plop plop plop" texture ...our traditional sweet n sour has white onions, green/red bell pepper, pineapple, carrots, & cucumbers

 

If you look at recipes online, they all say to add too much water. I did this my first time also and it came out without much batter on the chicken. I add water very slowly, and stir each time until I have a very thick batter. It sticks perfectly to the chicken (And your fingers) So I use one hand to drop the chicken in, and the other to flip the chicken with a spoon, and to remove them when finished cooking

 

The restaurants here only serve it as the sweet and sour sauce, and the chicken. I think if you go at a nicer restaurant they give you a nice plate with extra things? But here most Chinese food is takeout/takeaway

[PiaNist]

yeah thanks for the heads up....hmmmm i think i want to share my recipe too..one of my favorites...baby back ribs

[Antichrist]

Alright, I can't edit the post any more, but I'm in the process of making it right now.

 

For the batter, the correct amount of water to add will be right about 1/2 cup. It should be the consistency of cake batter or brownie batter.

 

It's for this part:

Combine flour or bisquick mix, 2 tablespoons oil, 2 tablespoons cornstarch, salt, white pepper, and egg. Add (YOU WILL NOT USE THE FULL AMOUNT OF WATER: 1 1/2cups) water gradually to make a thick batter. You want the batter to be VERY thick. It should fall off the spoon in a plop plop plop not a steady pouring stream. It needs to be thick enough to STICK to the chicken. Stir to blend thoroughly. Add chicken pieces, and stir until chicken is well coated.
Heat oil in skillet or wok to 360 degrees F (180 degrees C) I don't use a thermometer. Heat the oil until you can drop a drop of water into it, and it immediately sizzles and disperses. Fry chicken pieces in hot oil 10 minutes, or until golden. Remove chicken, and drain on paper towels. You will want to do several smaller batches. Drop the chicken pieces in BY HAND, one at a time, and keep them moving around so they don't stick to the pan, or to each other. If you have a non stick pan, or a non stick wok, now is the time to use it. If your chicken sticks to the pan, it'll rip the batter off. If your batter isn't thick enough, you'll have half of your chicken with batter, and the other half will be naked. Nobody likes naked sweet and sour chicken. You have been warned.

[Antichrist]

Ok pics time!