words of wisdom that may bring a smile

[Phobia]

Everyone is beautiful if you squint a bit

[Gubbi]

Never be afraid to try something new.

 

Edited May 2, 2014 by Gubbi

[Phobia]

Everyone leaves the world a little better – some by leaving

[RedAngel]

Master your past in the present, or your past will master your future

[Phobia]

Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer. — William Claude Dukenfield

[Phobia]

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. — Leo Tolstoy

 

[Phobia]

Everything is always okay in the end, if it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.

 

[Double Aids]

Don't look down on others, unless you are helping them up.

[Owned]

Curiousity and to experience are some of life's greatest virtues, a day without curiousity or experience is a day not lived.

 

this one popped into my mind, where else than, in the shower...

[Double Aids]

I love this from Team America World Police: I'll let auto 'don't swear' do the hard work....

 

We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. Kim Jong Il is an a**h****.

Pussies don't like dicks because pussies get f***ed by dicks.

But dicks also f*** assholes.

Assholes that just want to shit on everything.

Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way.

But the only thing that can f*** a a**h**** is a ****, with some balls.

The problem with dicks is they f*** too much or f*** when it isn't appropriate.

And it takes a pussy to show them that.

But sometimes pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves.

Because pussies are a inch and half away from assholes.

I don't know much about this crazy crazy world, but I do know this.

If you don't let us f*** this a**h**** we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit.

 

[Applause for the Hero]

 

Probably the best speech in American movie history.

[Phobia]

Examine what is said, not who speaks

[Phobia]

Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex

[Seggy]

"The most wondrous thing in the world is that although, every day, innumerable creatures go to the abode of Death, still man thinks that he is immortal."

[Ol Smoke]

When beating the shit out of some guy...show him the respect he deserves.  At least he stood up to you.

 

When going down on a woman...make sure your bald spot is covered.

 

In today's world of camera phones...make sure your butt crack is covered at all times.

 

When watching an old western, and the Indians are talking in native language,  no one but the Indians know what is really being said.

 

The next time you enter a Bank....ask yourself if you think you could rob it.

 

John Dillinger could barely write his name, but, he could figure out how to rob a bank in less than 90 seconds, without harming anyone. We all have skills.

 

When traveling upon life's highway today...remember to dodge the potholes.

 

There ain't anything like great sex...except the end of a long constipation.

 

Why do people, who can't hold a decent job, think they can be great as a politician?

 

When the poop hits the fan....be the one behind the fan.

 

An automobile, no mater how expensive, will always let you down, when you need it the most.

 

The only time to fear flying in a plane, is when they slow it down to make it fall onto the landing strip.

 

Anyone who never got to ride on Route 66 in the 60's missed the greatest time of this country.

 

When a guy keeps telling you how bad he is going to beat you up....just turn around and walk away.  Foolish cowards are not worth your time and effort.

 

No matter where you go,  what you do, or who you are with....be packing iron.  You are gonna need that smokewagon some day.

 

Taking a knife to a gunfight is not foolish if you know how to use a knife.

 

More people are hurt everyday playing online games than any other activity.

[Phobia]

Excuse me, is there an airport nearby large enough for a private jet to land?