I'm a serious guy.. as I grew up I had many flirts, crushed and "stories" with girls.. but my one purpose, was always to find the person I would spend the rest of my life with..
I always believed in love, marriage and commitment... It was not just a question of how I was raised.. it was a question of character.. I was what I wanted for myself, and what I felt
But as the old man says.. good guys finish last.. during the +- 15 years of my adult, emotional life I had been f***ed up more time then the one I would like to admit..
I mean.. since every woman tells the tail, that all they want in life is a prince in shiny armor.. and a man that they can bring home to the parents.. I guessed my chances were
pretty high.. until I realized that the speech of these bitches was just to make appearances.. and all they really want is to get f***ed doggy style by a different guy each week..
let me rephrase that.. a guy each day...
Now that does not shock me.. I have always been a open minded guy.. hell... if I was the one with a pussy... and knowing how guys are.. I would be getting laid every night..
I would be the biggest hoe in my neighborhood ... but the BIG difference here, is that I WOULD ADMIT IT..
And thats what I don't get.. why the f***, do these cunts thing they can come to a guy.. allow him fall in love.. make promises they don't intend to keep.. just so they can "get some" and
then flee like nothing ever happened.. I know I seem to be talking out of rage, from a broken heart.. and maybe I am.. but that would't be, if every time I had asked them "are you serious about it?"
those bitches hadn't answered "yes","I love you","I cant image anyone more perfect for me".. WTF... haven't you crapbags heard of honesty?
Since I'm a guy that believes in god, Karma, "what goes around comes around" and the universe is gonna avenge me (or else I'll do it myself).. I decided to "get out of the market"...
No more flirts, stories or complications.. My life would resume itself to work, family, friends and beer.. the beer was not planned, but was a way to forget want I was missing in life.. what I always wanted..
someone to share my happy moments..
since there was no one to share.. there wasn't many happy moments.. so the next step was obvious... depression.. (from which I'm still recovering) but from the bottom of the pit I saw a light..
I fell In love with a girl, that put away all my fears.. simple, honest and I knew from the start that the last thing she would want to do is break my heart..
This is the girl that allowed me to move on.. make new plans.. live my life dreaming with a family, kids and all the dream that I had lost inside of me..
we made plans and commitments.. we bought a house.. and we lived together until...
Of course.. this would be too perfect.. because all of this "going perfect" made me get distracted of the fact that she is still a woman.. which means that nothing is ever good enough for them...
I knew from the beginning that she is not the most affectionate person in the world.. but come one... at least when I give some affection.. the return with a smile would be nice.. but nooooo..
she takes me for granted... gives almost nothing back.. and if I feel that there is no point.. and dedicate my time to myself...nooooo.. cant do..
I write this in a night where we had a discussion.. lately her nights consist in sitting like a zombie in front of the TV.. being beside her,has no objective, since she ignores me (as I said not much affectionate )
and since I don't like watching TV (specially the crappy TV series she sees) I prefer to come play ET... WHICH apparently I cant.. because I'm "not spending enough time with her"...
WHAT THE f*** DOES SHE WANT.. for me to just sit there like a stuffed animal.. f***.. what about giving something back... what about being realistic about want can be accomplished in a relation.. what about
the time we have to take for our selfs..
I'm pretty lost about this right know.. don't know where this is going from where... I'm almost sure this is not the end of the relation.. but for me it was the end of the dream..
and the realization that this "perfect" girl can be as b*** as the others.. and this marks the beginning of my journey to hell...