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milli vanilli



The guy I know at the venue we REALLY like looks like he either quit or got fired. I really hope not, cause he was giving me a good deal on pricing. Really going to suck if he's gone. Especially if the new lady doesn't honor what he told me, INCLUDING THE DATE! Not stress I need right now, and I REALLY don't want to deal with a pissed off fiance. We went last night and picked out the cake she, oops, WE want. Only going to cost us $450...........


More things the lesser sex needs to know.


12)We're men. According to the bible that makes us damn near supermen. Meaning we'll do anything to prove someone wrong. Who do you think invented skydiving? Or bungee jumping? Or the fleshlite? The more stupid, the more likely we'll try it, especially if we might end up hurt. Examples you say? Okee dokee. In college, we used to play dodgeball. With golf balls. In a hallway. Wearing only shorts. More? I've done donuts in a 26' box truck. On the interstate.


13)Yes, you have PMS, that doesn't mean we'll give you a break for a week when you're a b***. I don't care that you're bleeding and bloated, you don't care when I work 12 hours, come home and cook, and just want to goto bed and not 'share our feelings.' I get that it sucks, but you don't, so I don't have much sympathy when you treat my like shit for a week.


14)I don't need to sit camped out in front of the TV. And neither do you. I have no 'need' to watch a show. Sure, I'd LIKE to watch a show, but i don't NEED to DVR them all. American Idol, House, Private Practice, Grey's Anatomy, every NASCAR race, 2 soap's, Dancing with the Stars. No wonder you say I don't spend time with you, cause I can't STAND those shows. And just because I don't watch your shows, doesn't mean I don't spend time with you, it means I spend time AWAY from the couch. Of course, maybe if I spent more time on the couch, I'd get more action...







milli vanilli

Things are progressing with the planning. We meet with a friend of a friend tomorrow to price a cake and hope its not too expensive.


More things women need to know and understand about us males.


8)I have a sense of humor. Of course its a little dirty and over the line, but thats what makes it funny. You're allowed to at least PRETEND to laugh at a wisecrack once in a while. Otherwise you prove this quote by Groucho Marx correct. "Women should be obscene and not heard."


9)Buy some air fresheners and leave them in the bathroom. Trust me, I'll go through them twice as fast as the box says.


10)Porn is my lifeline. Unless we're having sex 4 or more times a week, I'll be making love to myself at least once a week doesn't mean I don't love you, it means I respect you enough to give your cooter a break once in a while while I make love to myself.

10b)Don't judge my bedroom performance by the time it takes me to make love to myself. I know what I need to do to maximize my video game playing time.


11)Yes, my friends are ass-holes. Like your friends are perfect. I won't give you shit about yours if you don't talk about mine. You can tell your friends how much you hate mine. I'll just tell mine how I'm not allowed to stick in in your ass.




milli vanilli

Women, why is it so hard to understand us men? We're easy to understand. Give us a piece from time to time, don't bankrupt us and you can really do no wrong by us.


What comes out of our mouths isn't a puzzle. If we say you look good in that dress, you f***ing look good in that dress. We didn't say you look good in that dress, but your sister looks better in it. Or we didn't say you look good in that dress, but you need to loose 45 pounds. We said you look good inthegoddamndressandthatswhatwement. Damnit. And just because I like to play video games doesn't mean I'm a child. I don't call you an old lady for watching soap operas. Or a shallow whore for watching gossip shows.



More things women need to realize


4)We share a bed, that means half is mine, half is yours. I love you, or at least we slept together. I don't need to wake up with your knee in my back because you want to cuddle. You cuddle when you're awake or trying to fall asleep. Or even better, you cuddle when having a nice talk that leads to sex. And the 'you stole all the covers' argument is bullshit. We share a king bed, an entire Asian family could sleep on it and not take up the whole thing.


5)I drink 'manly' alcohol, get used to it. You don't like the smell of my whiskey? You think I like the smell of your wine? Or the smell of your wine when it gives you gas? The dog's farts aren't as bad as wine farts...And I enjoy a GOOD beer, not American pilsner. Bud, Miller, Coors are all pilsner. Give me a good lager or Belgian(mmmmmmm Stella....) Even a micro-brew pilsner has more flavor than large American beer companies.


6)Yes, I actually *do* enjoy watching sports. And I don't feel the need to watch your favorite team. Especially games such as hockey, which can be a beautiful game to watch. I get you like the Penguins, and I can appreciate the skill they have, but if there's another game on at the same time, its nice to see OTHER teams play.


7)You're beautiful, or I wouldn't be sleeping with you. Doesn't mean I'm not going to admire a good set of tits or a great ass. I'll at least be polite enough to wear sunglasses so that you can't see my eyes follow them.....


Day 3 of trying to dig through my music collection.




milli vanilli

So I'm getting married. I work for a company here in Pittsburgh that rent fancy table cloths, so i know some peeps. Still doesn't prevent my fiance from being a bigger pain in my ass than peter.


We're trying to cut corners and save money where we can, yet I get yelled at for trying to giver her over 500, yes 500, songs to choose from because there's not enough variety...I'm sorry, if i give you music ranging from ABBA to Yes and things in between, including stuff that isn't music(*cough* Nickleback or Daughtry or rap) and you tell me its not enough? Sorry babe, you don't put out enough for me to put too much rap or shit I dislike on our wedding playlist.


I'm excited to be married, but there are some things women need to realize. Here's a few


1) Yes, we really do want sex as often as we say it. Men are just wired to want it more biologically. And we act on it. We really don't care that we just watched a movie that saw someone get decapitated and someone shit down his head, we might very well still want to sleep with you.


2)I smell, get used to it. Guys just sweat more, its a fact. I don't complain about the way your cooter smells when I'm near it, I don't expect you to complain about my balls after I've mown the lawn, gone for a jog, and played volleyball.


3)If you cook, I'll clean the dishes, I expect the same to be true it *I* cook. This one really pisses me off, since I do all the cooking. We were at her mom's last summer and my fiance says "Yeah, he does all the cooking, so I'll clean the dishes." And even with a dishwasher, how often do I hear about it if i don't do them all? at least 3x a week. The wa yI see it, we can BOTH help in some capacity, since I'm also the one BUYING all the food....


Time to rest,