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PHANTASM

My visit to the lawyer

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The only one question I have in my mind is can't you just put hold on your social so no one issues credit card and cancel all your joint credit cards and keep one for you?

 

And close all joint accounts or just don't put any money in it? AFAIK if you give divorce, you have to give her, all expense but if she takes divorce you have to pay less or to nothing?

 

No idea man just suggesting.

 

We don't have any joint accounts. I refused to do it. She wanted me to get a joint checking account after we got married, "like normal people do", but I said no. Now she is the one that has to go bankrupt. Not me.

 

This morning she woke me up asking where my wallet was. She wanted my credit card so she could buy more crap on the internet. $110 worth of useless crap. She had the order all set up and all she needed was an account number to pay for it. She can't use her credit cards anymore since she has officially started the bankruptcy process. I refused to give her my credit card account number. She whined and whined until I used my debit account, and I did not let have the card to keep her from writing it down.

 

It's scary to see what internet shopping does to people.

 

I can't put a hold on someone else's credit. She will get new cards as soon as she can. The banks issue them to bankrupt people now, they know they can't file bankruptcy for a few years. They are a good credit risk, in a perverse way.

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i think your wife seriously has an addiction to shopping. sit down and talk to her, if you haven't already.

 

good luck, phantasm.

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i think your wife seriously has an addiction to shopping. sit down and talk to her, if you haven't already.

 

good luck, phantasm.

 

I am sure he did 100 times .. but you know girls.. cough cough * :P

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So, we went to the lawyer's office this morning to get my wife to file bankruptcy. It was intensely miserable. There were tears, denial, blame, and divorce threats.

 

It's going to cost me $1400 to file bankruptcy to clean out her debt. But it beats paying $500 a month in minimum payments due, with no end in sight, and no way to pay them off for good. When I try to pay them down, she takes the money back out.

 

Hopefully no one will ever give her a credit card again. I'm expecting the applications to keep coming though anyway. I cannot understand why banks offer credit to someone who has not worked for four years.

 

I just wanted to vent since I can't discuss this with anyone I know in real life.

 

Also bro, credit ratings are based on profitability..

 

This means that if you pay of all your debt in full, you get a sh*t score.. but if you borrow more than you can afford, and scrape a living to pay off minimum amounts per month, they make more money off you, and this is what gets you a good score.. So all this time you been paying off her debts, you've been proving to the banks / crediters that she's a highly profitable borrower.. Thus, she'll probably have a nice credit score to work with when applying for credit.. However, the bankruptcy will no doubt crash it.. Hopefully. (just read one of your later posts and you say it's another nice risk for the banks.. balls.)

 

I feel for you bro.. I hope you don't fall out over it unless that's what you want, and I hope you don't have to pay for her spending tendencies much longer. Nobody should live above their means relying on some other kind person to pay it off.

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i think your wife seriously has an addiction to shopping. sit down and talk to her, if you haven't already.

 

good luck, phantasm.

 

I agreee with Kristy, Phantasm. It sounds like your wife needs a little guidance on saving money, and working on a budget.

 

I don't want to sound weird or anything suggesting this.... but maybe by giving your wife an "allowance" of sorts, will teach her to save for things she NEEDS, opposed to spending everything she has when she has it? You sound like you've got a good handle on your budget, so you'll know what you can afford to give her, and how often, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly etc..

 

I'm sure she'll waste more of it in the beginning, but by working together, I think you can help her overcome the spending issue.

I wish you the best of luck.

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It's like a heroin addiction, like you said no matter what as soon as she can she will get another/more cards.... Ask her how can she weigh out the risks and the benefits and still continue to do things like this. If it wont stop and there's nothing in your power you can do, you know what you must do.

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She whined and whined until I used my debit account, and I did not let have the card to keep her from writing it down.

 

I'm surprised you used your debit card for any internet transaction. I'm also surprised you caved in to the whining. I bet if your kids whined about wanting something...you'd tell them to pound sand. Sometimes speaking to adults as directly as you do with children works wonders. Anyone that's worked in a hospital or ambulance would likely vouch for this advice. GL to the both of you. I sincerely hope you get it ironed out.

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I'm surprised you used your debit card for any internet transaction. I'm also surprised you caved in to the whining. I bet if your kids whined about wanting something...you'd tell them to pound sand. Sometimes speaking to adults as directly as you do with children works wonders. Anyone that's worked in a hospital or ambulance would likely vouch for this advice. GL to the both of you. I sincerely hope you get it ironed out.

 

I know you're right, and I would like to be able to regain control, but it is very difficult.

 

I am thinking about chopping up my credit card and my debit card and just reverting to cash and checks. Harder to go in debt that way, and I would be unable to conduct or approve any automated transactions. Back to 1962 for me lol.

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