bo0m Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phobia Posted September 13, 2015 Author Share Posted September 13, 2015 A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdman Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 My friends said I listen too much to Linkin Park, but in the end it doesn't even matter 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bo0m Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 My friends said I listen too much to Linkin Park, but in the end it doesn't even matter Hahaha good one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bo0m Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Do pilots take crash-courses? Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why do they call it ‘chilli’ if it’s hot? Does killing time damage eternity? Did Noah keep his bees in archives? How do you get off a non-stop flight? How can there be self-help “groups”? Can a stupid person be a smart-ass? Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains? Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food? Why is it that night falls but day breaks? Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool? If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? How many weeks are there in a light year? Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans? How come wrong numbers are never busy? How do you write zero in Roman numerals? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”? Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors? Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes? How can you tell when sour cream goes bad? Does that screwdriver really belong to Philip? Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? What was sliced bread the greatest thing since? Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop? Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? If cats and dogs didn’t have fur, would we still pet them? Do people in Australia call the rest of the world ‘up over’? Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? If you can’t drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends? Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on “Start”? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman? If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs? Day light savings time. Why are they saving it, and where do they keep it? Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child? If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do? If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing “Happy Birthday”? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bo0m Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Ham and eggs. A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. Update: Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. I intend to live forever – so far, so good. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bo0m Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I haven’t lost my mind; I’m sure it’s backed up on tape somewhere! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10Tacle Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Friday - my second favorite F-word 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bo0m Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 THE GOLDEN RULE: He who has the gold makes the rules. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phobia Posted September 14, 2015 Author Share Posted September 14, 2015 If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bo0m Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably a crap. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bo0m Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phobia Posted September 15, 2015 Author Share Posted September 15, 2015 Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tipsy Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 (edited) Do pilots take crash-courses? Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why do they call it ‘chilli’ if it’s hot? Does killing time damage eternity? Did Noah keep his bees in archives? How do you get off a non-stop flight? How can there be self-help “groups”? Can a stupid person be a smart-ass? Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains? Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food? Why is it that night falls but day breaks? Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool? If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? How many weeks are there in a light year? Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans? How come wrong numbers are never busy? How do you write zero in Roman numerals? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”? Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors? Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes? How can you tell when sour cream goes bad? Does that screwdriver really belong to Philip? Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? What was sliced bread the greatest thing since? Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop? Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? If cats and dogs didn’t have fur, would we still pet them? Do people in Australia call the rest of the world ‘up over’? Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? If you can’t drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends? Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on “Start”? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman? If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs? Day light savings time. Why are they saving it, and where do they keep it? Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child? If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do? If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing “Happy Birthday”? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? If I you ask me these question , and I have gun in my hand.. you probably be shot . but I may use this to bug somebody else. Edited September 15, 2015 by yoyo 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bo0m Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 If I you ask me these question , and I have gun in my hand.. you probably be shot . but I may use this to bug somebody else. Well at least Im usefull for something:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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