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Rise of teh Machines!!!!


Gee.........we sure have become dependent on technology.....for everything! I mean, it's not such a bad thing I guess....unless you've ever seen 'Maximum Overdrive' starring Emilio Estevez!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7K44PqV2Idk

 

I think one of my favorite parts of the movie is this one:

. Extra points to anyone who knows that that certain bank customer in the movie was Stephen King, who actually wrote the story!

 

*Ahem*

Machines wake us up in the morning, they help us get ready, some of them help lonely ladies sleep better at night (*imitates vibrating noise 'bzzzzzzzzzzz!'*), hold onto our money for us, make food for us, transport us from place to place, and so-on and so-forth!

 

But what if they got tired of our shit?

What if the robots among us . . . . .revolt?

What if they were driven to . . . . . kill?!

*gasp* f***ing preposterous, I know!

 

Surprise dumbass, it's already happened.

I direct your attention to a certain Robert Williams.

True, it's a very bland and generic sounding name. But with this name comes an interesting story:for Robert Williams is the first recorded victim of a robot-hate-crime.

 

The year is barely 1979, but the mighty Ford Motor Company is already utilizing robots (reportedly manufactured by SkyNet) for menial tasks!

Rob Williams was a worker at a Ford plant in Michigan, probably one of the ones that have laid-off shitloads of men and women recently. On January 25th, Rob was grabbing a part from the warehouse inventory. A little odd, as a robot was recently installed at this particular motor plant to do this very job for the workers. The robot arm would retrieve parts from inventory bins for the workers. A simple enough task, that a human should be able to do it, much less a robot.

Workers often complained that the robot was just too f***ing slow at it's job, which explains why Robert Williams took it upon himself to get the part himself.

 

What happened next is subject to debate.

Williams was just about to grab a part off of a shelf, when POW! Williams falls over dead from a fatal blow to the head. Unbeknownst to the now-dead Williams, the robot normally assigned to the task of retrieving parts struck him a deathblow to the back of his head, with it's cold, iron arm.

Some think the lack of safety lights, a buzzer, or anything that would warn the workers of the robots presence, is what caused this 'accident' to transpire.

Others think the robot may have been driven to a fit of jealous-rage when Williams tried to do the cyborgs job for it.

I've got my mind made up, stop lying to yourselves.

 

In the end, Rob's kin got 15 million dollars for the f***-up, compliments of the company that manufactured the robot.

 

But only a few years later, their thirst for human blood and apetite for insanity unfulfilled, robots would be driven to kill again!

 

We fast-forward to 1981, Japan. This time a Kawasaki plant would experience a robot-infused bloodbath unlike any other.

Kenji Urada was a 36 year old maintenance worker at the plant. His job was to keep shit running at the plant.

On a normal day-shift at the plant, Kenji got to working on one of the robotic arms that assembled parts at the plant. Workers complained that this particular robot was malfunctioning, which prompted it's deactivation so that it could be worked on.

Without warning, the robot came to life as Kenji was investigating the problem, and planted it's cyborg deathgrip square in the middle of Kenji Urada's chest. It pushed against him with an unstoppable force of hydraulics and bloodlust, right into a metal grinding machine. While information is unavailable about how gruesome the death was, you can bet your ass that several mops were needed to clean up what was left of the fateful Kenji Urada.

It was later determined that the robot was not 'properly shut off'.

Nobody is fooled though, we're onto the robots, we know your plan!

Another life claimed by the machines, another lost soul taken by the soul-less.

 

And THAT is why we can't have nice things!

3 Comments


Recommended Comments

General

Posted

Well the one in Japan, Heres how you solve that one logically: About everything Japan makes is shit lol. so, it probly was doing what it was supposed to be doing and hit him. Robots dont have brains of a motherboard. The first story is easy. The robot was grabbing something and dumb guy got in the way.

Fb!N!nJa

Posted

Well the one in Japan, Heres how you solve that one logically: About everything Japan makes is shit lol. so, it probly was doing what it was supposed to be doing and hit him. Robots dont have brains of a motherboard. The first story is easy. The robot was grabbing something and dumb guy got in the way.

 

lol i so believe this guy on that reply

vke

Posted

Well the one in Japan, Heres how you solve that one logically: About everything Japan makes is shit lol. so, it probly was doing what it was supposed to be doing and hit him. Robots dont have brains of a motherboard. The first story is easy. The robot was grabbing something and dumb guy got in the way.

 

Probably the most ignorant thing you have said. Please open your eyes, everything that america pays other countries to make is shit. Japan is ranked higher than the us for standard of living, education, and life expectancy.

 

 

 

Damn robots, they be sneakin in our bedrooms, killin our people up....

 

 

 

 

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