Hooorraaayyyy, its time for a new weAselstory! this time he will tell us about his adventures in a barbarian country, with alot of fun and some strange things to see .... be prepaired ....
Ahhwww, my crusade started in the morning of a day a few million years ago. the heaven was full of clouds. some bad guy hang them up there grrrrr what a nub! but i am a clever guy, and some ppl call me god ... thats why i took my bag and put the sun inside. harrharrrharr, the sun wasnt happy about that. she bitched alot and i had to slap her a few times ... haha ... then she was ready for the travel too. i checked my bag, there was the sun inside, some socks, weAselparfume, a deostick, some shorts and some candy for the horse. i hope you remember the horse named blinky. i jumped on the horse and a few seconds later i was at the trainstation. hmmmm which train i should use? but then a guy with ugly glasses came and said, here lord weasel, this is the right one. and he showed me the 9Â¾ hahaha crazy .. but it must be true. i told him to grab my bag and the he had to follow me. thats me, i use everyone as a slave. he couldnt do anything ^^ what a jerk, i have more power! i broke is stupid stick and then he started to cry. i gave him a lollypop and told him to leave me. hmmmm i forgot to buy a ticket for blinky ... what a mistake! my lovely hooorse ... after a few sad seconds, i decided to make a fine salami out of him. so he is next to me and he can sit in my bag too. yumyum, when i am hungry, he can help me too hahahaha .. yumyum. i joined the train and was prepaired to take off. hmmmmm i was wondering ... why there isnt a stewardess? ahhhh this is not a plane? i was shocked. i had to drive trough the whole european continent in a train? OMG! grrrrr but then the doors closed quickly and the wild ride started. puuufff pufffff puuufffff .... i am a liar! this wasnt a old steam locomotive ^^ it was a electro one. xD after a some loooong hours, we arrived the main train station in the city of love. i left the train and was shocked ... where is my red carpet? damn frenchieees ... they forgot it.but i am a friendly guy, so didnt said anything. i just bookmarked some face and one day i will come back and then AND THEN! haha Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my eyes said, there is the princess. i was happy! i ran like a dog to her ... a fast dog ... 9,58 secs! omg all the people there klapped the hands and smiled, one came with a huge gold-medal ... . OOOOPPPs this was just a dream. i am not usain bolt, but i could beat his time for sure! RAWWWR! the lady put me in her arms and i was in heaven. i bet a huge heart was about us and all those other people there were jealous. jaaahhaaaa only the weAsel can love like this! after a short but sweet kiss, i decided to smoke a cig. i went out of the station and ahhhhwww pufff puuufff puffff, the lady was watching me with heart eyes and i was so happy! all over the world are some fags running arround who hang clouds on every single heaven! bah i hate that. so i opend the bag and trew the sun on the sky. ahhh the princess said, youre my hero. we both smiled and went into the city of love ... hand in hand, heart to heart and i swear, the people rolled out the red carpet from now i am the king of the world? or just a normal weasel? you choooooose :*
this was the first part, now the weasel needs some couching and a cold drink.
!BRB in a few mins/hours/years? we will see :*
After his first night at his new home, after a 23-30 on goldrush and after a nice convo with the princess, the weAsel decided to go to bed. he slept in very fast and started to dream ....
damn freaks everywhere with their high pings .... grrrrr i am laggy like hell. but enough is enough! i will visit one of those guys now and try to find out whats wrong with them ... where is my horse? hurry up blinky (name of the horse) bring me to one of the weirdest laggers ever! after a long journey with alot strange things, we arrived brasil. RAWWWR where is the worlds hugest lagger? i need to find his damn basis! lets go blinky, i can hear the drums. cuz i know, that the drums are his sign. he is very proud to do that. ahhhhh there is his huge treehouse. i watch at the shield next to the door and read his name: dOugLa$ / indiO / drummer. open the door you laggy indio! he open'd and we start a huge fight. i got one of his drumsticks straight into my eye and the other one in my ... OHHHHHHH that hurts, he is good ... grrr but now i start my special attack. its called "the beerbelly-double whopper-attack" hahahaha the indiO cant handle my special move and ran away. i follow him ... up the stairs, down the stairs, what a f***ing huge treehouse he has grrrrrrrrr then we both were down and out of air. hahaha the indio is giving me some CachaÃ§a ... wow tasts good. then he starts to talk .. poor german weAsel, why you try to kill meeeh? cuz i lag? i am a indiO? .... i have a high ping? dont do that and i will show you my famous land ... hmmm sounds good for me i thought. ok dOuglA$ lets stop this shit and be friends. now we are riding next together .. me on blinky an doug is riding on a coconut .. or better rolling ^^ other lands, other styles haha look german weAsel, there is the sugarhat, look there is the beach, look all those gurls in tangas .. awesome. what a land. now we are jumping into the city .. ohh there is the dentist who has to fix RONALDINHOS teeth xD see his golden doors? windows? haha he get alot of money by fixing his horse teeth lmao. then we go into a bar. alot of nice chicks are there. all love me douglas is jumping with one of those girls under the table and all i heared was a "ooohhh" and a "ahhhhh" i turned around and saw a nice lady coming ... what a girl. we go the beach and as i turned around again i saw the name of the bar .. " blue oyster-bar" OMFG its a bar full of shemales and dragqueens. the lady in my arm started to smiling and riiiiiiiiitsch my shorts were gone NOOOOOOO HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP
he woke up ... totally wet. what a dream. he looked around and was happy that he was still in his bed and in his cave. awesome! he had a bad taste in his mouth ... it tastes like CachaÃ§a .. OMG he went out of the bed and watched into the other rooms. he heared a laugh out of the bathroom and was WTF. then the bathroomdoor opend and there was douglas with 2 of the ladies out of the dream "hey weAsel" look who is here ... what a wonderfull night we 4 had ... ohh and thank you that you stayed at my treehouse last night ..."
OMFGGGGGG that wasnt a dream the weAsel screamed.
"harrr harrr harrrr" the douglas indio said, "welcome into the twillightzone weAsel!" "harrr harrr harr"
this was just another funny episode out of weAsels awesome and funny life. be prepaired, there will be more to read soon!
Long time ago, a naughty old weasel was running trough the wild world. he was searching for a sexy weasel-lady and tried everything to get one. ahhhhh years over years he asked the other animals, "youre a weasel-lady?" "no?" "hmmmm you know where is one?" "no? "ahhhhhh..." but its a lucky world, one day he found one. over the years his balls were growing up huge as hell. poor guy xD but now he had the chance to get smaller balls ... the weasel-lady was surprised, she was ugly and then such a good looking weasel wants her .. wow ... they did it in the first night behind a tree. after 1 minute the male weasel said, "ahhwwww good, empty and satisfied ^^ bye bye you ugly weasel-lady" and he jumped over a road near the forrest and got smashed by a truck wih many red / white lights. was it the coca-cola x-mas truck?
the weasel-lady was scared and ran into her cave. after a short time, she screamed. "the damn weasel-aÂ§$&%! i am pregnant!!!" a few weeks later, it was the december 24th a shy "bÃ¤hhh" came out of the cave. 3 guys who love to rape woodenholes were running trough the winterforrest and heared that. they followed the "bÃ¤hhh" and came to the cave. one of them watched into the cave and he saw the weasel-lady with a small naked "kid" in her arms. "wtf" the man said ... cuz the little "kid" farted and smiled over the whole face. then the "kid" jumped out of the cave and gave all 3 guys a huge asskick. "wow" they guys said, "who are you?" and " damn how you came into the cave?" i am the majestic weAsel! bow down and show me my b-day presents, cuz i have b-day today! the guys were perplex ... 1 one gave his laptop to the kid, 2 one gave him his headset and the 3 one gave him his mouse. LOL why does the guys have this stuff in their bags? in a forrest? to explain that will be another tale. after that the guys started to sing a b-day song for the kid. hmmmm but the kid wasnt satisfied ... they sucked. so the kid killed em all. with a riflenade TRIPLEKILL!
the weAsel-kid said goodbye to his mummy and left the forrest. he found a nicely place in germany and put on his headset, started his laptop and fingered on his mouse ... and screamed out loud:
the weAsel-age begins!
be prepaired, tomorrow he will show you all his adventures with the borgs, han solo and the damn pokeball ... take a seat and snuggle with your partner, it will be a porno-adventure-thriller-tale!