Hey all. I know it's been awhile. Sorry if any of you were worried about me. I guess I needed some time to figure some things out, and what exactly I needed in my life. This year has been pretty rough. Everything decided to go almost as horrible as possible, and I lost sight of the progress I've made in light of that, and needed to think. Also, I'm avoiding modern war-games at the moment because they are a little to close to home while I'm working with veteran's affairs here in Canada to get treatment. I really dislike Facebook now, and a lot of my socializing was here. I guess i ended up becoming a hermit for a while there with all the isolation. There was and is still so much going on, it's tough to keep everything straight. This year is definitely a test for me. I'm not sure why I'm telling you guys all this, exactly, but it feels good. I guess I trust you. Anyway, in an effort to avoid getting too deep, I'll wrap this up. I just wanted to clarify any misconceptions, and share a bit.
Ps. I have 149 unread notifications O_o
That's all for now,
Hey folks. I just had a really god day and good workout. I'm feeling good so I wanted to share a little bit.
In the last 6 or so months I've been here, I've experienced a really powerful and positive change in myself. A lot of it has to do with the quality of the people here. It really feels like a family and that people genuinely care about each other here. Before F|A, I was struggling a lot in my personal life. My mom went into the hospital on christmas day and my dogs were sick and eventually had to be euthanized. I was in bad shape to say the least. I found some really surprising strength here though. That strength was being able to contribute to this community in a meaningful way; I could help make the servers a safe place, report some naughty-naughties and chat with people who really like the games I like. I felt USEFUL since I haven't been able to work for a while. At the same time, in real life, I've been practicing something called "assertiveness". Wikipedia defines it thus: "Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive." This community has allowed me the opportunity to develop that very productively and since I grew up, and have lived in, some pretty brutal and violent conditions, this has been key to my recovery process.
The interesting thing about this is that all I feel is gratitude. I feel gratitude because this clan is more or less filled with people that want the best for each other. And while I struggled last year and early this year, I received nothing but motivation and support while I worked on myself. I've gotten so much better too. I have never had so much success in my life before, and F|A has been a valuable part of that process. Quite honestly, I think FA is giving people a place to feel comfortable, respected, and welcome in a way that their life can't, for one reason or another, provide. I might go so far as to say loved, even. And that is something so valuable that it can't be priced.
I better stop there before the waterworks fire up and smear my writing. What a good chapter for my book this will be..
I've been thinking about something. I don't know how interesting this will be for people but I have a rhetorical question that I want to share: I wonder if the ingenuity of children is to do with their willingness to try new things? Children learn much faster than adults, it's well-known... Unless it's biological, this is my conclusion.
I know I used to be fearless with technology. I would press all kinds of buttons and turn knobs. I didn't care. I don't take as many risks with that now... I bet you it's because I have mistakes logged in my brain that i remember, "Okay, you tried that once, so don't do it". Maybe that's our limitation as adults at times?
I know a child asked me recently what was wrong with my eye. Just straight up. I was taken aback, but it was also refreshing so I explained it was Strabismus. There was no meandering or "pussy-footing" around and finding out later... She just asked the question and got an answer... Of course, mistakes are USEFUL; they advise against being foolish. Taking too many precautions, however, can be equally damaging.
To put it plainly, apart from biology, I think children's ability to learn quickly has to do with their willingness to take risks; they don't have a pile of mistakes recorded to make them hesitate.
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