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60% of all primates die in this story




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    • wala yes
    • wala no
    • silent yes
    • silent no
    • elfy yes
    • elfy no
    • infinite yes
    • infinite no
    • vixen yes
    • vixen no

Because i am bored heres a hapless story i have written .... Caution - May be of low quality






'Dear God Dr they're everywhere!'

'Be calm Mary'

'But Doctor!'

'Huuuuhhh!!Its no use, there are too many of them'

'Sh*t!'F*ck. 'F*ck!'

'Sh*t the vents!'


'Through the vents Mary'

'But Dr well never make it in time'

'Ill hold them off'


'Go! schnell '

Mary looked back as the hapless doctor swung the fire extuningsher. Her last sight of him was as the Penises finally swarmed him




30 Minutes Before


'Mmm you know this aint half bad. The saugause is a bit too soft for me but its still tasty '

'Yeah. Shame the fried egg is so small you know'


'Wazzup guys'

'Hey John'

'Hey. You done the assignment yet?'

'Na not yet. Ill do it tonight'

'Its pretty easy actually'

'Say did you catch the game last night'

'Na but i saw the score '

'Sh*t i swear he haxes'


'Have you heard, they're thinking of expanding into Street Fighter?'

'Lol is that possible?'

'Lol doubt it'


'Be right back i need to refill'

'Man the coffe here is pretty expensive'

'Lol, yeah . Be beter of with a thermos flask '

'Hey you smell something'

'Oh my God....'




'Doctor are you sure this is correct? The patient seems fine'

'Woman are you questionong me? May i remind you i am the Doctor? Hmph!'

The doctor straighted his tie and waleked off.

'God hes such a b*tch isnt he? '

'Hey Mary what do you think'

Mary took a look at the chart

'Hmm...the patient seems fine . What does the doctor want?'

'He wants to do a closer examintion'

'Huh didnt he examine him yesterday?'

'Thats what i thought'


5 Minutes later


'Man that was a preety good breakfast. Havent had a fire fry-up in ages'

'Lol yeah. '


'Shit is that the fire bell?'

'F*ck another one? '


4 minutes before


'Holy Shhhh*t! What are they!'

'I dunno man, but they're heading this way'

'Holy sh*t did you just see that!'

'Oh my god its gone into his mouth!'

'Sh*t they're swarming us'

'Quick through the fire exit! Retreat, retreat, retreat!'

They ran.


4 minutes later


'Man i dont think anyone can cook here'

'Sh*t do you see that? People are running from the canteen!'


'Sh*t John , whats up? '

John puffed for a bit

'Ma..huh...mas..huh...massacre..huh...in the canteen'


'Dave man listen to me. we gotta get out of here!'

'Dude whats going on?'

'Sh*t what the f*ck are those?'

'I dunno. Lets just Run!'



'Muhahah. Look at those pathetic beings. Runnning away. Muhahaha'

Mr Evil swung round in his chair

'Martha how is the experiment going?'

'They're going most excellently master'

'Excellent. how long till we can unleash them?'

'Soon your devilness, soon'


Mr Evil swung back round.

'Now time for some porn'





'Sh*t whats going on Man?'

'Sh*t i dunno. I was just having breakfast when we smelt some burning stuff and then ,like, the fire belll went off and those things came out from the bar and attacked us'

'Oh *sh*t we left Tom behind'

Geoff slapped his head

'Oh well hes dead now'

'Sh*t man dont say that!'

'Eh man its the truth'

John grabbed Martins shirt and shoved him gainst the wall

'Heyheyheyhey lets not fight each other now'

John shoved his face into Martins and glared at his face


'Oh sh*t that sounded like Bertha'

Geoff ran off

'Well come on guys, lets go !'


Approximtly some distance away


'Mary help me out here!'


'Mr Jhonson's not responiding'

Mary looked at the moniters

'Tina he's dead'


Mary sighed. Education these days she mutterd to herself

'Ah Mary there you are'

Mary spun round


Where did you put Edward? '

'Hes still there doctor'

'Excellent. Bring him to the operating theatre'

'But doctor!'

'Now please'. He tapped his watch 'time is money you know'

Mary Sighed

'Yes sir'


Somewhere nearby


'Bertha are you ok? Here let me help you up'

'Geoff that damm dog of yours has made of with my ham sandwitch!'

'Woofie' Geoff scoured the distance vainly' 'Here woofy boy, here!'

Dave came panting up

'Sh*t what the f*ck are you still doing out here?'

'Dave you seen Woofie?'

'Woofie? Wha...'

'Dave hes got my breakfist!'

'We're going to be breakfast soon! Lets go!'


3 minutes Later


'Sh*t where are they?'

'I dunno'

'Dave! Geoof! Bertha!'


'Hey whats that on your shoe '




2 mintues later


'Oh sh*t'


'Weve lost Martin and John'



To be contuined...with more pics :)



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