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Posted

Dammit I'm mad is dammit I'm mad spelt backwards.

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Posted

Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

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Posted

You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do

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Posted

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, just try missing a couple of payments.

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Posted

It’s useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love, drunk, or running for office.

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Posted

Our phones fall we panic, our friends fall we laugh.

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Posted

Our phones fall we panic, our friends fall we laugh.

+1 brutal reality

Posted

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

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Posted

It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.

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Posted

Are you free tomorrow? No, I'm f***ing expensive.

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Posted

Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

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Posted

"The idiot lights the fire and then ran to get water to extinguish it."

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Posted

A woman is only vulnerable when her nails are wet.

And even then, she can still pull a trigger.

- Unknown

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Posted

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

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Posted

'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards...

  • Like 1

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