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Posted

weekend to be precise and yea story of my life.

 

 

 

 

 

Applies to  no IQ idiots I encounter here.

Hahaha :D

Posted

To save money on electricity, we've turned off the light at the end of the tunnel

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Posted

I guess I can put two and two together."

"Sometimes the answer's four," I said, "and sometimes it's twenty-two...

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Posted

You didn't kill him. He would have killed you, but you didn't kill him."

"So? He was stupid. If I killed everyone who was stupid, I wouldn't have time to sleep

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Posted

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

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Posted

If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, you’re a tool.

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Posted

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth--even if it costs him his job

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Posted

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says, ‘Oh crap, she’s up.’

Posted

“I’ve realized you can use a fork as a spoon if you use it rapidly enough.”

— John Mayer

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Posted

I’m so broke, I can’t even pay attention.

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life; if I die next Tuesday.

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Posted

A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

  • Like 2

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