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Showing results for tags 'joke'.
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Sorry I really have to share this joke I heard today! How do you call a pony with the flu? - Just a little hoarse!
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ITT: We will post jokes. Everyone needs a laugh once in a while..right? Try to keep it clean people I'll start A guy is walking down the street and sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars? "Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again. "Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?" She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there." So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them. The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?" "Nah", he replies. "Costs too much............... another one that made me lol A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck and everyone inside dies. When they get to meet their maker, because of the grief they have experienced, He decides to grant them one wish each before they enter Heaven. They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what their wish is. "I want to be gorgeous." So God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says, "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing. By the time there are only ten people left, this one guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off. Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says: "Make 'em all ugly again." So, the next time you are last in line.......smile! another one that made me laugh A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck and everyone inside dies. When they get to meet their maker, because of the grief they have experienced, He decides to grant them one wish each before they enter Heaven. They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what their wish is. "I want to be gorgeous." So God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says, "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing. By the time there are only ten people left, this one guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off. Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says: "Make 'em all ugly again." So, the next time you are last in line.......smile!
