A shot in the dark

[Koen]

Good evening all, since I don't really have any other place to post it, I'll post it here due to internet anonymity. I'm not looking for sympathy,  rather for answers perhaps? if you feel like adding to the topic. Or maybe just a place to vent. What I'm asking for is a honest response (or PM).  Either way, if this topic is inappropiate, feel free to remove it.

 

For a couple of years now I have been fighting with depression, at one point even leading to almost attempting suicide. I believe the main reason for this is always feeling alone, sure I have parents who would do anything I'd ask them with pleasure, yet they can't tell how I feel. I have a group of friends, who are amazing people, yet they have completely different obligations and priorities, meaning I don't really go out and do things at the end. Other family (grandmother, cousins etc.) great people, far from being selfish, mean or anything like that. And even on here, I've met some people with who I have laughed a lot, but with who I can still have real talk. There has even been a moment where someone made me feel appreciated, by an act of kindness which I wasn't expecting (you know who you are if you're reading this )

 

What I'm trying to say, is that the problem is me. Having Social anxiety does not help, but I always have that feeling that strangers, and sometimes even from people I know and love dislike me, mainly because they ignore me and don't seem like they want anything to do with me. It seems almost daily that I think to myself: "What am I doing wrong?" or "Should I just approach people? If they don't approach me, then why should I even consider approaching them? I'll probably just bother them." it is miserable that even when there's so many people around you, you still feel alone.

 

If you are reading this and you're having a bad day just know there's always people out there that have bad days almost every day.