The Musician's Christmas Poem

[Ol Smoke]

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
>
> (somewhat revised by Sterling Howard)
>
> 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the venue,
> Not a creature was stirring, as I looked thru the menu,
> The decorations were hung on the stage with care,
> In hopes that the band members would soon be there!
>
> My friends and I had been royally fed,
> While visions of a good show danced in our heads,
> And I in my new suit and the date I just met,
> Had just settled in to watch a three hour set!
>
> When out in a parking lot, there rose such a clatter,
> I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter,
> Away to the door I flew like a flash,
> To see a drummer and bassist, completely smashed!
>
> They were unloading the equipment in the new-fallen snow,
> From the van, which had traveled all the way from Fargo,
> When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
> But the rest of the band, all swilling beers!
>
> With a little old manager, so angry and quick,
> I knew in a moment it must be Nasty Nick,
> More rapid than eagles his curses they came,
> And he bitched, and shouted, and called them all names!
>
> "Now, DRUMMER! now, BASSIST! now KEYBORDS! and TRUMPET!
> On GUITARIST! on SAX! on TROMBONE! and VOCALIST!
> To the top of the loading ramp! To the top of the wall!
> Get the equipment inside before you all fall!",
>
> And then, in a twinkling, I heard at the door,
> The slipping and sliding as they fell to the floor,
> As I gave them a hand and was turning around,
> I had to wonder at how they might sound!
>
> The lead singer was dressed in leather, from his head to his feet,
> And his clothes looked very slept in, not at all neat,
> A bundle of microphones he had flung on his back,
> And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack!
>
> His eyes - how they twinkled! I was becoming quite wary,
> His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry,
> His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
> As he took another swing from his bottle of Old Crow!
>
> He was staggering around as the band tuned up, way off key,
> I laughed when I saw him, in spite of me,
> With a wink of his eye and a flick of his hand,
> The group blasted into a tune by some obscure band!
>
> He sang not a word, but went straight to his mic,
> Hoping he had picked a song the audience would like,
> Then STOPPED the music just as it was getting noisy,
> And announced "Sorry, we're in the wrong club, we're supposed to be in Boise!"
>
> They jumped back in their van, amidst jeers and whistles,
> And away they all flew like the down of a thistle,
> But I heard them exclaim, ere they drove out of sight,
> "HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"