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11.  I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.   

 

12.  My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.    

 

13.  I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.          

 

14.  A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''     

 

15.  There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''            

 

16.  I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.  

 

17.  When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.   

 

18.  ''My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.''         

 

19.   I rang up British Telecom, I said, ''I want to report a nuisance caller'', he said ''Not you again''.  

 

20.   I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.          

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