Pondering Pig #666

[PigNewton]

 

 Welcome to Pondering Pig #666!!!!!! Today's topic: Paranormal Experiences and Ghostly Stuff



 I would say I'm of the scientific/existential persuasion. When I hear ghost stories a little voice in my head is constantly asking, "How true is this? Have I had similar experiences? Can alternative explanations be as plausible?"    Most often, there is an alternative explanation for just about anything. Which ranges from bumps in the night to the theory of gravity. Just because alternative explanations are possible doesn't make them true and valid. Likewise, when I'm listening to a ghost story, I may have dozens of alternative explanations but that doesn't even begin to touch the validity of the person's experience. Keeping that in mind, I will tell a few stories of my own.



   Tall Ghost Dude


 My mother and I weren't religious people per se but we still attended a church group at night. I couldn't stand them but was down with the pastries and decaf coffee since it made me feel grown up. I think I was about 9 at the time.

 One night we weren't driving home from church when my mother made a wrong turn because she's dumb. She decided to pull off a "K" turn in someone's driveway and back out when I saw a tall dude dressed in light colored hospital looking clothes. I thought it was odd but probably was just his old pajamas instead of authentic hospital attire. He seemed to just stand in the driveway, looking at me. I asked my mother,

 "Mom, why is he just standing there?"

 Her response,

 "Who?"

"The man in the driveway mom. He's right in front of our car! He's right there!"

 "Who are you talking about?! There's nothing there."

 "Mom! Are you (expletive) BLIND?!"

 "Don't talk to me like that!"


 Needless to say, she couldn't see him even though he was a few feet away from our vehicle. Could it be that my mother has bad eyesight? Sure. And she seems kinda flighty too. But her sight is obviously good enough to drive around without smashing into buildings to that explanation doesn't hold up. If she was blind enough to not see this man then driving would be an utter impossibility. And she didn't kill me in a car accident because I'm alive. . . . .. I think.  What makes this worse, is when I described the man to my mother, she seemed disturbed and showed me a picture of my grandfather from before I was born. It was extremely similar. Eerily similar. My grandfather apparently was very excited for my birth because I would've been the first boy of all his grandchildren. He died when I was 4 and I can't even remember him. Weird.



 Basement Ooga-Booga
 
 When I was about 18, my girlfriend Rae was very into Wiccanism. I had lost a friend of mine 4 years earlier to suicide. We decided to create our own ouija board sort of deal with the alphabet all drawn out and started asking questions. At first it was simple things, "Who are we speaking with?"   or "Spell your name for us.". It was lighthearted fun about a depressing topic which made me feel better about it. We "closed the spiritual circle" with some ritual or other and called it a night. My dog Saorise wasn't particularly impressed.

 All I can say is this: after a few nights, I couldn't sleep and became extremely angry. I felt this burning rage and hate inside me. Everything would set me off and I was literally getting into some pretty terrible fistfights. . . . and winning. There was one time when I was walking down the sidewalk and instead of walking in front of a gas station, I decided to walk through it, between the pumps etc. The mechanic flipped out.

 "DOn't f***ing walk through my business! I'm not going to be repsonsible if you trip and get hurt!"

 I decided to walk up to him and get right in his face. I looked at him with a deathglare which he could feel at the core of his being. He started stuttering and apologizing.  

 "L-L-Look. I just don't want to have to pay because you h-h-hurt yourself ok friend?"

 I simply walked away. I felt like a bear about to rip it's prey to a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e shreds. This was not healthy.


 Rae and I would constantly get into fights. Badmouthing each other etc etc. Saorise would bark and try to break it up but it didn't work well.

 One night we were sleeping and I woke up to Rae nudging me. I heard Saorise growling on the floor by my bed. We were in a cold basement so I was very alert at what could possibly have upset Saorise. Suddenly, I felt someone step on the end of the bed. I felt the weight sag the bed, I heard the springs snap and it was coming closer. I felt paralyzed with fear. The pressure came up right behind me and my body shifted towards it as the mattress caved in. I began wiggling my toes to get feeling back and started twisting my ankles. I regained control over my leg and decided to kick at whatever was on my bed. Kick once and kick hard! But before I could, all the weight alleviated and my wooden chair slide across the concrete floor. All I could hear was bare footsteps running to the back of the room. *tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap*
 
 I got up, smacked the lights on and saorise was still on the floor next to the bed completely confused. Rae was terrified and I was white as a . . .. well a ghost. I grabbed my camera and said "Quick take a picture of the mirror behind me!"   I don't know, I saw it on movies so why not? She did and it showed a brown mass behind me. Can't explain it.



 That night we decided to sleep in my car. After a few hours of not being able to get comfortable we decided to take our chances again. We were SO tired. I decided to turn the TV on to have some background noise. It was an episode of Family Guy. I saw Peter's dumb face and got relaxed, until he spoke. The first thing out of his mouth was:

 "Do you have any books on how to get rid of ghosts?"



 End