Funniest threat you've ever heard ?

[oOShockWaveOo]

there's so many of them I can't even remember which was the funniest, I did get the legendary overused Navy Seals back in 2011 myabe in an mmorpg game don't remember the details, he just copy pasted it to me, I laughed so haaard xD

 

"What the f*** did you just f***ing say about me, you little b***? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f***ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, f***er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f***ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f***ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f***ing dead, kiddo."

 

Also real life threats  count too someone once told me that he can "destroy 10 of me without even blinking" in my language it was funny as hell I loled right in that moment

[Daliger]

 

oOShockWaveOo, on August 23, 2014 at 3:53 PM said...

 

"What the f*** did you just f***ing say about me, you little b***? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f***ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, f***er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f***ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f***ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f***ing dead, kiddo."

 

This "threat" has traveled the internet around the internet a thousand times over lol. But yeah, it was pretty hilarious when I first read it.

 

Anyhow, one day in class, someone was mad at me for talking.. Well, he turned to me and said "You better shut it up, before I shag your nan, mate." He had said it with a straight ass face, too. I was speechless. Could not believe what he had said to me. Sure enough, I didn't talk any more xD

[oOShockWaveOo]

This "threat" has traveled the internet around the internet a thousand times over lol. But yeah, it was pretty hilarious when I first read it.

 

Anyhow, one day in class, someone was mad at me for talking.. Well, he turned to me and said "You better shut it up, before I shag your nan, mate." He had said it with a straight ass face, too. I was speechless. Could not believe what he had said to me. Sure enough, I didn't talk any more xD

hard to make comeback to that xD