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A question for the guys


oh_Fernanda

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Well, I'm 23, have a healthy and active social life, and don't want to get married or have kids until at least 35, if not older. I would love to be with a woman who thought the same, but if she would say it to try to garner conversation before the point that she's leaving things at my house, I wouldn't think twice to let her go. I think the best tact here is to find a way to casually insert it into a conversation. For example, you hear a child's shrill screams in a restaurant. Say something like "ugh, I hate kids, I'd rather die than have one." Then don't talk about it any longer than he does, I'd change the subject if he keeps it going. This would be two good indicators to me.

 

Also, birth control.

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i never wanted kids either. but that could change with the right person. and i don't get involved unless i feel the person really offers me the ability to grow with them. so i hear where you are coming from. you will have to find a guy who is real, and probably doesn't care what other people think. to be honest, i would never be shocked with someone who i was having a good time with and they said "so what are your future plans?" then slowly worked toward talking about kids and blah blah. it's all about your delivery on the topic, and not just rushing in to "i hope you don't want to have kids".

 

seems you know what you want, now you just need to find someone you see something in and are comfortable enough to discuss it with :) good luck. i mean GOOD LUCK. i'm in the same boat as you. and it's sinking! ;)

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i never wanted kids either. but that could change with the right person. and i don't get involved unless i feel the person really offers me the ability to grow with them. so i hear where you are coming from. you will have to find a guy who is real, and probably doesn't care what other people think. to be honest, i would never be shocked with someone who i was having a good time with and they said "so what are your future plans?" then slowly worked toward talking about kids and blah blah. it's all about your delivery on the topic, and not just rushing in to "i hope you don't want to have kids".

 

seems you know what you want, now you just need to find someone you see something in and are comfortable enough to discuss it with :) good luck. i mean GOOD LUCK. i'm in the same boat as you. and it's sinking! ;)

 

It's good to know someone out there understands how I feel. I'm the same way, I feel like I'm done just dating around. I already know what I want in life and what I want in a person, so I only want to go out with people that will contribute to my life and we'll see how it goes from there.

We're KIND OF in the same boat. Mine has nothing to do with finding the right person. I'm talking like if I was the last chick on earth and mankind's only hope to repopulate the planet.....we'd be extinct :lol And damn how was fast is your boat sinking? I'm young so I still have hope, if I turn 40 and I'm still single...then I'd have to accept it's just gonna be me and my sexy cats<333 hehe.

There's nothing more I hate in the world than wasting my time, so I'm the type of person that likes to be direct and get to the point. But generally I'm pretty hard to approach in the first place, so I dont want to scare a guy off by making him think I'm looking to marry lol.

*sigh* but yes...basically it all comes down to asking at the right time in the right way.

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It's good to know someone out there understands how I feel. I'm the same way, I feel like I'm done just dating around. I already know what I want in life and what I want in a person, so I only want to go out with people that will contribute to my life and we'll see how it goes from there.

We're KIND OF in the same boat. Mine has nothing to do with finding the right person. I'm talking like if I was the last chick on earth and mankind's only hope to repopulate the planet.....we'd be extinct :lol And damn how was fast is your boat sinking? I'm young so I still have hope, if I turn 40 and I'm still single...then I'd have to accept it's just gonna be me and my sexy cats<333 hehe.

There's nothing more I hate in the world than wasting my time, so I'm the type of person that likes to be direct and get to the point. But generally I'm pretty hard to approach in the first place, so I dont want to scare a guy off by making him think I'm looking to marry lol.

*sigh* but yes...basically it all comes down to asking at the right time in the right way.

 

well i do believe things change when you have someone extremely special. that is to say, i am opposed to having a child, but being really comfortable with someone could change that. i don't feel the urge to have a child. haha. i feel like maybe i am the way i am because of my understanding of how transient things in this world are.

 

hopefully waiting will pay off as other people similar to you will also be picky and waiting :) right? yeah i hope too :P

 

in the end you are who you are, so why be ashamed or scared? if they run away, it's a good sign they don't understand. or so i think. my boat? just seems like it's sinking. i have no clue what it's doing. it's not doing much, haha. had my share of pain, so i'm pretty lazy on the breeze as well. anyway, i feel like i am ruining this board, but it's one of those topics i could go on and on about. lolz. sorry everyone :)

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for me im young i can say i dont want kids an if she disagrees she out my door , theres plenty of fish in the sea you can prey someone with the same views as you is gonna walk in your door, on the other hand you can go out and be honest about your plans for the future without going overboard on the subject ill admit ive had a few girls telling me i wanna get married to you and have kids .. i tell them your dreaming im more worried about an income and life first , i even say i cant picture us in the future if u think im gonna get you knocked up before 30 letalone before im even 18 some agree some disagree but i think its more a males job to bring up the subject because you are right it is kinda wierd when a girl starts talkiing about marrige and kids straight way ..also kinda scary haha..and to be honest speaking as a male men are evil cunning dirty lieing cheating liars haha dont trust any of us :P

the subjecto is more a personal oppinion than a subject this forum is like life theres gonna be alot of people who disagree with your thoughts and beliefs and some people who do its just finiding the write person in the end .. i guess soulmates must really exist ther just the hardest thing in life to find :hmm

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well i do believe things change when you have someone extremely special. that is to say, i am opposed to having a child, but being really comfortable with someone could change that. i don't feel the urge to have a child. haha. i feel like maybe i am the way i am because of my understanding of how transient things in this world are.

 

hopefully waiting will pay off as other people similar to you will also be picky and waiting :) right? yeah i hope too :P

 

in the end you are who you are, so why be ashamed or scared? if they run away, it's a good sign they don't understand. or so i think. my boat? just seems like it's sinking. i have no clue what it's doing. it's not doing much, haha. had my share of pain, so i'm pretty lazy on the breeze as well. anyway, i feel like i am ruining this board, but it's one of those topics i could go on and on about. lolz. sorry everyone :)

 

 

my boats flaoting around hooken em in and throwin em back in the water atm haha just lookin for the special one to jump on the line .. my problem is i have too much love to give and too many wimen to give it too but wen i find "her" i believe thing will change big time ( her being the special one im waitin for)

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I bet you that will find someone that you love, and your views on the subject will change. I used to say the exact same things you are saying in the exact same way. I was so set on not having kids I wouldn't even touch or go near them. BUT, after being in a relationship for quite some time now, I can honestly say that my views are slowly changing. I still avoid kids but i find myself thinking about it , and I am certain that one day I will happily have kids.

 

My advice to you is, find someone that makes you happy from the very beginning, and know that you are still so young that alot of stuff about you will change. although there are people who never have kids, I'd say it's rare to find these people. Who knows, you may never have kids, but at this point, you can't miss out on finding the person for you because of it.

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