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Wrong Side of the Tracks - With 75% less spoilers than the IGN review


F257

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The Rock - great actor. Ok so a few of his films - The Tooth Fairy, The Rundown - sucked, but only because the whole film sucked itself. I havent seen either See no Evil or 12 Rounds , but im pretty sure John Cena and Kane make pretty good actors too. Wrong Side of the Tracks has not one, not two but three wrestlers - Batista, RVD and Big Daddy V (Plus someone who looks like the Big Show with a really long goatee).

 

The plot, thus, is as follows. A new guy moves into the neighbour and introduces himself to Bobby (RVD) and his wife. Presumbly after having been rejected by all the other neighbours, he asks to borrow a hammer and thus begins a wonderful relationship culiminating in new guy and his wife inviting bobby and his wife out to a nightclub owned by one of the new guys clients (job not explained). Bobby, presumbly with some form of forsight, obvioulsy harbours some judgment and tries to kindly back out but is forced into the arragment by his soon-to-regret-this wife.

 

Skip a few hours ahead and they're at the nightclub sampling the delicious food. Meanwhile the owner of the club is off to a buisnees dealing, leaving his bro behind in charge. Naturally , hes a coke fiend and promplty snorts some . Some time later hes showing his moves on the dnacefloor when he spots bobbys wife coming out of the ladies loo. Despite being at least 20 years older than all the rest of the female patrons, he finds her irresitable and drags her to his office for some raping. when new guys wife comes back from the ladies and sees bobbys wife is missing, bobby immiedtly senses danger and goes hunting. Upon the sound of some raping, he barges pass some patrons who seem to be deaf to the sound of raping and immidtly saves his wife . Sadly , the dispostionedd male is none too happy at his falling erection and tries to kill Bobby only to trip and stab himself (oops) . Thus begins a tale of revenge as the owner seeks to avenge his brothers death by placing a 100G boutny on bobbys head.

 

If you were expecting bastia bombs and five star frogsplashes as i were , youd be dissapointed. However, Batista - who only shows up part way through the film, and from then on as a deus ex machina - does shoot someone in the head, which i hope you agree would be a more effective finishing manovuever (if ever he resumes his wrestling career) .

 

However, fear not, there is still plently to enjoy , such as the free boob shot. Ok, so theres a lot left to be desired - rvd often leaves his victims alive as opposed to punishing them like ,well, the punisher-meaning they have plenty of chance to come back and annnoy him later on - and the gangsters do seem to have even poorer aiming than rambos would be killers , plus there are a few contunity errors - but when he kicks ass boy does he kick ass. He may have been shot in the leg , but thats not going to stop him sweeping the bad guys.Fights set to some form of explosive music are ten a penny these days - Kick-Ass, Stormbreaker, and so it takes something special to stand out, and seeing batista pwning a black ninja is surley one of them

 

With several explosive plot twists and kick-ass acting to boot - specially from rvds daughter who seems to have a degree in arrgonace - you wont be dissapointed by this film. The director, David DeFalco, has made several filmsin the past, including the notorious Chaos, whos nipple-slicing-n-forcefeeding- scene ensures its status amongst Murder Set Pieces and the August Underground series as a film only the truest horror buff (or sicko buff ) will stand to watch. With Wrong side of the tracks though, one can only presume he's on his way out of obscurity and onto Hollywood Fame

 

Bravo sir , bravo

 

Score

8.5/10

 

Pros

Kick ass fight scenes

RVD is a wonderful actor

The girls are hawt

 

Boos

You just which hed let loose with that uzi and save society (and himself) some trouble

That black ninja was so weak. WEAK i say

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