Sometimes I was rude with my mom, but now I'm more "tactile", I tell jokes etc, so I probably give love acting this way.
I do this with a good female friend too and it feels great yeah. I didn't do that 1 or 2 years ago.
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Hey there! Happy to see you here! I'm The PigNewton. You can call my anything you like: budd, pal, friend, hey you, god, whateves.
I'm not really into giving advice because it always seemed unfair. If I give you advice, you have to live the consequences of that advice, not me. I have a suspicion it'll affect me in a sort of karmic way but I still would rather say, I feel ya!
So what are ya all about? Who are you?
I'm a 27 year old (in june at least) dude who really enjoys going with the flow. In Taoism, it's called Wu Wei. I really enjoy reading existentialist philosophy, actually, any philosophy. Jean Paul Sartre is my current journey. I also like Nietzsche for his honesty.
I really like music. Randall is a great artist and very laid back. Van Morrison is cool and I like Red Hot Chili Peppers. Hmmm, I really enjoy feeling connected with people. I don't have many friends at all actually. So everyone I meeet, I try to connect with. On my deathbed, I won't be worried about my bills, car, status or money. I'll be concerned with having forgiven anyone who has seriously harmed me and wish them peace and love. It sounds a little bizarre to minds who are still very ego driven. Very judgemental or insecure. It happens but I contemplate death every now and then. I think about those close to me and contemplate their death. And then my own. It only sounds morbid because cultures all around the world constantly fight against death. But I've had near death experiences. And the one thing I can say is just before death, I had a feeling of surrender. A feeling of "This is completely ok." That's extremely liberating. Because you suddenly realize it's insane to fight against something inevitable and infinitely more powerful than you, lol.
This tends to give me a feeling of connection with others. I feel like we're all going to be dead eventually. That means simply, we don't be of this world necessarily. So each interaction is an opportunity to connect with someone who is soon going to die. That moment when someone is dying, they hug their loved ones like never before. The raw emotion, passion and love is tangible. Tactile if you want to use that word. That's a feeling of connection that we may do well to feel towards as many people as possible. But you may find it useful to start with yourself.
What's helped me was developing a deep connection with myself. I simply meditated and quited my mind. Too much clatter going on in there. Tell your mind to chill out and have it settle. Deeply feel your body. Feel your desires. Calmly consider why you desire friends, a girlfriend or S.O. I think you may find it leads to a sense of connection and acceptance of yourself. Think about this: The harder you grasp a slippery eel, the faster it will slide through your hands. But hold the eel is a relaxing way as to make it sleep and you'll have it forever. Perhaps meditating on that may help.
I can tell you that I care about your happiness. I care about mine and I care about those around me too. Wanna be friends?