Unfortunately, the objmaster cannot nominate a fellow objmaster, for not another soul has mastered the objective in the way that the objmaster requires. However, Meow has been named honorary OBJMASTERAPPRENTICE, for the effort given in answering the questions. One day, perhaps after much for study and thought, Meow may become a true objmaster. The true answers to the questions are below:
1.) Do you like the objective? Does the objective like you?
Like a link of chain, the affection between one and the objective must be mutual, yet confined. The objective likes as though there is nothing else, and you should like the objective in the same manner. As the earth likes the wind, the wind does like the earth, and together they mingle. In the end, yes to both.
2.) If the objective was lost in the forest, what words would it yell out?
The objective, not a lingual entity, speaks in no recognizable way. It would yell, but would you hear it? No you would not. Does not hearing the yell mean that the objective is not yelling? No, the obj is yelling through silence of pain. You cannot hear it, but it is there. An in audible scream. Keep the obj from screaming. Keep it safe; keep it in your arms.
3.) When you are thinking about the objective, what is the objective thinking about?
The objective is thinking about the water that flows throughout the earth. Rivers, streams, oceans. An ever-connected system of tranquility that passes around the souls of the earth. The objective wants to be a part of this connectivity. It wants to be fluid. It wants to be everywhere and connected to everything.
4.) What does the objective sound like when in pain? When joyous?
In pain, the objective makes the sound of a crying child’s tears hitting a wooden surface. A soft plush and ever so slight liquid splash ring out. Listen closely and it can be heard. When joyous, the objective makes no noise. The objective does not gloat or gleam for it knows that others are suffering. The objective stays silent in solidarity during times of happiness, for happiness cannot be experienced by all.
5.) What does the objective FEEL like?
The objective feels like the morning frost on a grass field at sunrise. The crunch of the objective can be felt when you step on it, and the cool, moist texture lingers on one’s fingers long after one’s grasp.
6.) How do you calm the objective? How do you anger it?
Calm the objective by placing it near an open fire. Read to it the poems of Edgar Allen Poe, for poetry is a soothing medicine for the complex mind, and no mind is more complex than that of the objective.
To anger the objective, leave it on a table in a dark room. This will cause a wrath of fury the next meeting you have with the objective. Therefore, use this method with caution.
7.) If you were an objective, would you want to be captured?
The answer is no. The objective wants to be freed on its own. However, like an injured lion being healed and placed in a zoo. It is grateful for the liberator, but the liberation was not a part of its desired plan.
Congratulations again to Meow, who is now an OBJMASTERAPPRENTICE