Some may have noticed my absence from the servers in recent months. All along, I have monitored the Forums. Initially every few days, but have slowly been returning to daily checks. May have seen some posts where I have focused on music vs. gaming. I made my first venture back to servers yesterday since the 1st of July. The reason for this is simple, yet complex.
The first week of July, I decided it was time to do something about a problem I had been having. Over the past 2 years, I had been increasing my use of alcohol as an escape from day to day problems in my personal life. To the point that it was affecting those around me without me noticing (or even really caring that it did). The road to sobriety meant making changes in day to day life. Focusing on the things that made me happy, like playing the guitar, and avoiding the "triggers" or things that involved my routine of "I'll drink while I'm doing this". One of those "triggers" was gaming. Nothing like blasting people in a FPS while getting blasted yourself. Even In the middle of the day.
I hid it pretty well, huh? But oh how the mighty have fallen.
I took this opportunity to also kick my tobacco habit.
I can honestly say that after the first 2 or 3 weeks, I felt the best physically and mentally in years. I felt comfortable that I could come back to gaming, but wanted to take some extra time to make sure I could mentally disassociate gaming with drinking. Have to admit, I thought about grabbing a drink as I started to play last night, but my will is strong to not return to the old ways.
I plan on doing things gradually here. I am going to start off slowly and set a limit on how much time I spend gaming. Increasing over time.
Only a couple of the higher ups were aware of my situation, and I want to thank them for their support as well as their candor in this matter. It means a lot.
I am really a private person, however, I wanted to post this in the public section to maybe help someone else who is dealing with their own personal demon of addiction (whatever drug it is) and let them know that with willpower and the support of those IRL as well as an online community like we have here, that it is possible to take back control.
Each new day is a gift...... that is why it is called the present.
See you on the fields.