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A question for the guys

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#1
oh_Fernanda

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Hey everyone, I wanted to get a male's perspective on a certain issue of mine.

I don't ever want to have children...so when it comes to dating how do you think the situation should be approached?
I don't want to go out with anyone that I don't have a possible future with, because to me it is just a waste of time. However, I don't wanna come off like some crazy chick that's looking for a guy to marry cause thats not the case at all lol. But if I say this right off the bat after meeting someone, thats the impression they might get. And seeing as I'm a lazy person, I dont feel like going out on a bunch of dates before I feel it is safe enough to discuss what the future plans are lol.

So as a man, how would you want to be approached about this? Or what are your thoughts on the issue? :)


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#2
JoeDirt

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well speaking from personal experience here talking marriage during first few dates is a big no no, I had a girl talk marriage on the third date and well I never talked to her again, you cant say that to someone you really dont know. There is no fast track in life. Either you go with the flow or you get to spend the rest of your life alone and wondering what happened. As for having kids they are the best thing to have ever happened to me, now I dont even have to get up when watching a game, just tell them bring daddy a beer and presto there is a cold one in my hand, lol jk, but they do change your perspective on life and the way you live it, well for most off ppl that is. So unfortunately if you want to have someone to spend the rest of your life with you gotta go half way, which means dates, arguments and all that nasty stuff in between.

#3
vke

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well speaking from personal experience here talking marriage during first few dates is a big no no, I had a girl talk marriage on the third date


Thats a sign to get the hell outta dodge lol

Went on a date with this chick that just talked about how many kids she wanted, what she would name them, dream house, dream wedding. Worst date ever. She managed to ruin the best thai restaurant around.

If you are ever gonna talk about marriage, you have to be in a semi-serious relationship first, imo. Dating at first is just to have fun, and meet new people and to see what you like or dislike.

As wierd as it sounds, i wanna be a dad reallly really bad. I just don't want to be married yet :D

#4
oh_Fernanda

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well speaking from personal experience here talking marriage during first few dates is a big no no, I had a girl talk marriage on the third date and well I never talked to her again, you cant say that to someone you really dont know. There is no fast track in life. Either you go with the flow or you get to spend the rest of your life alone and wondering what happened. As for having kids they are the best thing to have ever happened to me, now I dont even have to get up when watching a game, just tell them bring daddy a beer and presto there is a cold one in my hand, lol jk, but they do change your perspective on life and the way you live it, well for most off ppl that is. So unfortunately if you want to have someone to spend the rest of your life with you gotta go half way, which means dates, arguments and all that nasty stuff in between.


Very true. My thing is just that oh maaan practically everyone wants to have kids, so I'm in the minority. Imagine the HUGE number guys I have to get through in order to find one that shares my views. Thinking about that tires me out lol. There are actually groups out there that are for those who dont want kids. Unfortunately for me, it's full of old people :P

Dating at first is just to have fun, and meet new people and to see what you like or dislike.


Thats what I want to do! But first I just wanna cross out the ones I know for sure will never work out lol.

#5
SPL><T

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1st off , dont flatter yourself..Guys just use the "kids" line to get in your pants ..2nd off ..Try E-Harmony . . .First match is Free ! ! !

#6
Jess

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My thing is just that oh maaan practically everyone wants to have kids, so I'm in the minority.


I'm right there with ya. I never ever ever ever want kids lol.

#7
oh_Fernanda

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1st off , dont flatter yourself..Guys just use the "kids" line to get in your pants ..2nd off ..Try E-Harmony . . .First match is Free ! ! !


Huh?? I'm confused...what do you mean the "kids" line? I don't think you understood my post. And how am I flattering myself...?

#8
SPL><T

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beats me ..then go with the E-harmony thing for the Lazy part !!

#9
F257

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Huh?? I'm confused...what do you mean the "kids" line? I don't think you understood my post. And how am I flattering myself...?


lol i assume kids = signs of wanting deep relationship -> means girl will think this is the one to marry; wont dump after one night stand

#10
PHANTASM

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Young guys don't want kids, so don't even bring it up. No 24 year old guy is going to stop taking you out and then having sex with you because you "don't want kids".

When you get older you may change your mind, and find you have a problem finding guys who want kids. I didn't want kids until I was 35. Before that I was too busy.

#11
oh_Fernanda

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Young guys don't want kids, so don't even bring it up. No 24 year old guy is going to stop taking you out and then having sex with you because you "don't want kids".

When you get older you may change your mind, and find you have a problem finding guys who want kids. I didn't want kids until I was 35. Before that I was too busy.


Lol I know they're not going to dump me over that, I just dont want to go out with them in the first place. Like I said, I feel that it is a waste of time for me to invest in a relationship that I know doesn't have a future.
TRUST me, I do NOT want kids. Sorry I'm not trying to come off as rude or anything, but I just find it annoying when people brush off what I say or think it's just some phase I'm going through. It's like saying you know me better than I know myself. There are plenty of people out there that never wanted kids since a young age, and still remain childless to this day.

But anyway, thanks for the feedback you guys :D

#12
SPL><T

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you say that now, til your a 30 yr old lady and so fed up with dating and the THUMPING of your biological clock tick tick tickin away..But for now, go with yer gut,,get it outta yer system,,and then see what happens,,plus, if u go on a date and the 1st thing u say is"i dont want kids" the guys gonna think its purely physical. . .

#13
oh_Fernanda

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you say that now, til your a 30 yr old lady and so fed up with dating and the THUMPING of your biological clock tick tick tickin away..But for now, go with yer gut,,get it outta yer system,,and then see what happens,,plus, if u go on a date and the 1st thing u say is"i dont want kids" the guys gonna think its purely physical. . .


lol oh please. Besides, no one gets in my pants without first getting tested for nasty STDs, and being in a relationship with me hehe.

By the way, if I made a bet with everyone in the world who believes I will change my mind when I get older, I'd be so freaking rich in the future B)

#14
Desu

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Really, Jess or Fernanda can date me, i dont want kids either ^_^

#15
Lush*

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Stock up on birth control.




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