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New poem


HannahG

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The trust and love we built up over many long days and hardened months,

A jokers hand, and blinded trumps,

stitched together with love and care, undone with 3 short words and 3 more to share.

For you lost the love,

I lost the care.

Unraveling the truth is a dangerous game,

but we came to play, we came to win. A losers hand, an empty sin,

is all we have of what we've been.

It's over.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let me know what you think.

It's a very personal poem to me, I know I rhymed care with care at one point, I wrote it in under 5 minutes, it sort of just poured out onto the paper that way. And that's how it came from the heart so I'm not changing it.

But opinions? :)

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I don't know that much about poems (formats and such), but wouldn't you technically be rhyming share with care? Anyway, I think its awesome, as Antichrist said, second-guessing can mess up your work :)

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Thank you all so much :) I'm glad my poetry is able to touch you all!

And I've posted a few of my works before on here :)

 

 

Edit : I also personally enjoy the "It's over" and "I lost the care" parts. Rage writing at it's finest.

Edited by HannahG
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I agree, dont change it. Life is ups and downs....(boring and over said, i know) but i wish the best for you, and hope your next poem is about how happy you are. :) Everyday above ground is a good 1!!! <3

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