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Who am I really?

Posted by Chameleon, 15 April 2014 · 1,685 views

me
Just wanted to say a few words, about things that were on my mind...

Who am I really? I'm a dad, a father, the most important thing I could ever imagine being! The most rewarding, life changing thing a person could ever be.. My daughter is the most important thing to me on this earth. Would I murder everyone on the planet to keep her safe and secure? Yes, no questions asked. It may be cliche to say, but from the first time I saw her in the hospital to this very day, I fell in love, and as time goes by I only love her more. Nothing on this planet will ever surpass how I feel about my child.

Sometimes I have been asked about my son, who died several years back. I didn't have him for very long, but the love I have for him is equal to that of my daughter. When I held him for the first time, I remember crying and my tears falling down on his face. It was just crying, it was sobbing. Nothing can ever come close to the love you have for your children, and if you don't feel the same about your child, you have issues and shouldn't even be allowed to have them.. R.I.P. Shane Lee Jr.

Who am I really? I am Shane, I live in eastern KY, I have worked in the music business for over 20 years. I play, I am involved in production, recording at a studio, I recently wrote a book and became a published author. These are the things I love to do, and I couldn't imagine my life going any other way.. Music is one of the loves of my life, there are very few things, that I love more.

Who am I really? I grew up poor, very poor.. I remember taking a bath in a metal tub on a porch, getting water from a well, using an outhouse, planting a garden, not because I was some hippie wanna be, or a hipster, but because if we didn't, who knew if we would eat during the winter. We had chickens, and pigs, and cows and all of that, not because we wanted to be wanna be hippie farmers, but because it was the only way to survive.

Who am I really? My dad was a pastor, and I hated it.. I hated church, church people, and everything that went with it, so needless to say, I was out of control. I stayed in trouble, did everything opposite of what I thought my parents would want.. I stole a truck once, I drank, I did drugs, anything that would piss them off. My brother was the good kid, good grades, never in trouble and all that. I fought at school or anywhere I could, every single day of my life. Not because people hated me, but because I hated people. Did I pick the fights? Almost 99% of the time, though I realize now I was just trying to find a way to release all the anger I had inside..

Who am I really? I am a dad, a friend, a person in this world just trying to get by. I'm a liar, but truthful. I am a fighter, but all I want is peace. I am full of rage, but just want to help people. I will fight at the drop of a hat, but I will be the best friend you could ever have.

Who am I really? I use to run head first at confrontation, but now I shy away, if at all possible. I avoid issues, but I try to fix them. When I don't know what to say or how to handle a situation, I pretend it doesn't exist. I have a hard time saying no, and will make excuses instead of saying so. I have a desire for people to like me so bad, that I will say or do almost anything to have their approval. In doing these things I often take on more than I can handle, which in the long run makes for a bad situation. I give more second chances than I should, and have gotten way more second chances than anyone should.

Who am I really? I am just a guy, who wants to be a part of something, who longs to be just who I am and nothing more.

Ph0eniX A.K.A. Shane :D




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Hah. Another good read, man.

 

I have a desire for people to like me so bad, that I will say or do almost anything to have their approval.

 

This you shouldn't strive for totally. You're a cool dude and someone many would call friend. You're a good guy and you shouldn't jump to impress everyone. Those that matter like ya. And those that don't? Well, f*** 'em in the ass with a pineapple. They aren't important nor worth your time.

 

You're someone many of us are glad to know. Rock on, man.

 

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One more thing to add to the list of things you are: One hell of a signature maker :P

 

But on the more serious side of things, this makes me realize how young and lucky I am and how much of life I still havent experienced.

And that every single decision I make, will change the decisions I'll have to make in the future. Thank you for this inspirational entry

that gave me a new perspective to life.

 

Also this made me think of this:

One more thing to add to the list of things you are: One hell of a signature maker :P

 

But on the more serious side of things, this makes me realize how young and lucky I am and how much of life I still havent experienced.

And that every single decision I make, will change the decisions I'll have to make in the future. Thank you for this inspirational entry

that gave me a new perspective to life.

 

Also this made me think of this:

Thanks man, I am glad you liked it.. It was from the heart for real :D

Hmmph. There is so much more to you then the physical aspects that have and continually define your life and you as a person.

Damn, a lot of this hits home. Really enjoy reading what you have to say, so keep on writing, Another great read.

I wasn't defining any physical aspects

 

I miss understood your comment :D

Thx for my second chance Pheoinx!

Dude... I won't touch your daughter. Please don't kill me!

Dude... I won't touch your daughter. Please don't kill me!

lol

so that first chapter I just read is a bit autobiographical 

It really is hehe

Don't be fooled people. He's a Bass player.

Hahaha, I am that also!  :P

u need a new book!!

u need a new book!!

Haha, I am totally working on it :D

Text is really great and deep :) You're talented!  Those writing goes well, the text reads easily and smoothly. Where could I find your book? 

Thank you very much Luna :D  You can go to Amazon.com and search God of the Undead :D

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